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Posted on March 13, 2019

Distillery District shitter!

The most no-nonsense shitter of them all, full of shiny loots and resting alongside a stack of books to ponder. The noble chamber pot, located in a nook of the Distillery District, is primarily used by Slackjaw’s gang. But don’t think this is enough for the likes of The Bottlestreet Gang. There’s something beautiful about a bunch of big ‘n tall thugs perching delicately on the edge of a porcelain saucer.

And if you want insight into class disparity during Gristol’s rat plague, compare this hovel to the carved, solid walnut in the Boyle Mansion shitters.

dishonored
shitter

Posted on March 12, 2019

Dunwall Tower: The Lord Regent’s shitter!

Hiram Burrows, Lord Regent and main antagonist for two-thirds of Dishonored, is a dreadful boogeyman who concocted a coup against Empress Jessamine and framed you, Corvo Attano, for her murder. This is where he shits: A darling and precious chamberpot that did not deserve this life. From the observer’s POV, this looks like a great government job. The opulent surroundings of Dunwall Tower, with all the finest appointments of a steampunk dystopia, and you get to bask in the eerie pale blue glow of this gaudy bedchamber. But, and I think all chamberpots everywhere would agree, you’d probably rather lay broken in an alleyway than be the personal shitpot of a genocidal dictator.

Don’t get the Lord Regent of Gristol confused with Hiram Burrows of Port Jervis, NY. Check out this mention of a real Hiram Burrows, who died of Typhoid, in an 1869 issue of The Evening Gazette.

dishonored
shitter

Posted on March 12, 2019

Dunwall Tower shitter!

This one is a little fucky, but I’m not convinced that it’s the shitter’s fault. You can see the chamberpot is clipping into the wooden seat of the shitter. Is it trying to run? Maybe it has to do with the fact that there’s a highly combustible drum of whale oil, alongside the open fucking flame of a lantern mere feet from where you are supposed to feel most at ease. The wooden hinged lid is spattered with whale oil. This room reminds me a lot of this shitter on Talos I. The rogue government of Gristol can make hydraulic super soldiers that shoot rockets with no problem, but trust them to jerry rig a veritable bomb in a restroom. What a filthy debacle.

dishonored
shitter

Posted on March 11, 2019

Not so fast, pal. First you empty yours, then maybe we talk about mine.

oblivion

Posted on March 11, 2019

Oblivion’s ragdoll poses are things of grace, charm and beauty.

oblivion

Posted on March 10, 2019

Installment #3 of Famous Toilet Episodes: Tywin Lannister’s Infamous Toilet Death!

Tywin Lannister, son of Tytos and Jeyne Marbrand, is assassinated by his son Tyrion, for his crime of being a perennial and unremittent asshole. If that isn’t the biggest “Oops, guess I shouldn’t have dehumanized my son for the last 26 years” face I’ve ever seen.

This is only funny because of the jerk it happens to. While you might say to yourself, ‘But I don’t want to die on a toilet,’ it begs the question. At his funeral, where Tywin is arrayed in a fabulous black velvet Nightstalker Raiment, attendees remark that death on a toilet is an indignity that is uneclipsed. But could this perhaps been the most convenient way to croak? King Robert makes mention of, and perhaps foreshadows, the dreadful phenomenon which occurs immediately following death in Episode 3 of Season 1!

Image Source: HBO
game of thrones
toilet times

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