No Thanks shitters!

Yefim Dobrov and his brother Vadim co-manage the Dugout Inn of Diamond City, where they’ll offer you a place to crash (for caps). There’s no reason to ever stay here, much less anywhere in Fallout 4 since you don’t actually need to sleep EVER, but if you did rent a room here, these are the shitters you’d find. Huddling together for comfort in a dismal alcove, with garbage pulled up around them for shelter, like a litter of whimpering trash kittens. Inexcusable. There might not be radroaches at this motel, but this is certainly enough for me to call a concerned citizens’ helpline, or the Department of Pre-War Standards & Lavatory Ethics (report code: BROWN ALERT)!

Royally Bland shitter!

From our bucket brigadier ILikeSocks, an aristocratic shitter from Blue Prince! “A game that I was hoping would scratch my Outer Wilds / Obra Dinn mystery and deduction itch but which ultimately I uninstalled about 2 hours later. I didn’t see any reason to go into the bathroom. You play as some guy whose dead relative left him a 45-room estate, and in the will he tasks you to find the missing 46th room. You have a set number of steps you can take (it goes down by one when you enter a room) and when you run out of steps or hit all dead ends you “call it a day” and come back the next day. Which sounds cool and right up my alley, except when you go to open a door you get three random rooms you can choose from then you “draw” that room into the floor plan so the house is always different which kills all excitement for me. If the house was a set layout full of the puzzles, and you had to explore and clue your way around to find the 46th room and solve the mysteries it would slap. But the random element just completely kills all excitement I have for it, especially because you can get a few runs that end with you seeing nothing new.

Also I still dont know what the actual mystery is. In Outer Wilds, it took me like a solid hour and a half before I realized the fucking sun was exploding and resetting the world but here I’m just wandering around an estate. I did find a surveillance room that gave off sinister vibes with how much it focused on the monitors watching other rooms. But that’s not enough to get me interested.”

In spite of all that, the Blue Prince’s shitter (who is likely a valet or footmen on this estate) is a Lavatory Rank 3 and with a discreetly attentive aura is ready to handle all your needs with tact and grace!

Dry Rock Gulch shitter!

These shitters are located in the wild and whacky funpark known as Nuka-World, in the Dry Rock Gulch theatre which is a fubar nodule off the main fubar park area. I guess sharing an outhouse with a skelebones with Plutonium-239 baked right in was too much for some Scavenger to bear, because nearby they were just trying so hard to build an alternative. Can’t say I blame them, for who knows what could be lurking in that portapotty? Splinters are the least of your worries, and even better, that Bottle statue gets a second life as a scarecrow for anything with eyes.

McJannek Station shitter!

Making his debut is bucket brigadier Skelegator dropping one from R.E.P.O.: “It’s about ‘you, a robot, collecting valuables for the tax man’.” This particularly valuable asset is accompanied by a rather unfortunate potted tree that has been condemned to thrive without sunlight for we are quite obviously underground. I’m sensing vapors of Modern Warfare’s Miracle of Light shitter. Perchance, in the absence of a miracle, this is a plastic tree?

Beyond the Shadow you Settle for, There is a Miracle Illuminated…

Petrov’s shitter!

Floating in a debris field amid the Procyon A system is a shitter doing all the work for a crew of like 200 dudes. A remarkably Shitter-positive environment considering the limited facilities, with encouraging affirmations affixed at eye-level. This ship, piloted by Sheogorath-of-the-Future, Captain Petrov, is notably named The Scow which is a generic term for a boat that hauls dirt or garbage. You’ll find the captain half-inclined on a chaise longue in attire that looks to be E.M.U. Suit daywear overlaid with a stunner from the 1990s “Harley Davidson Chakra Alignment” jewelry collection.

Blue Windbreaker shitter!

This might be more of a denim bomber jacket, but whichever it is, “This has to be some kind of record,” says our reigning brigadier ILikeSocks who found this Stalker 2 shitter in the first five minutes of the game. Inside is a treat: A bottle of Cossacks Vodka! Stalker 2, which won the 2025 XBox Excellence Award, comes to us from Kyiv-based Ukrainian game developers GSC Game World. Little-known fact, the game’s title S.T.A.L.K.E.R. is an acronym for Sanitation Trawler Analyzes Latrines, Keeps Examining Restrooms.

Disappearing Mansion shitters!

Today’s submission comes to us from bucket brigadier ILikeSocks, who blesses our eyes with the latest shitters from Expedition 33! “Holy damn, this is literally the best story of any game I’ve played. Easily my game of the year. France came in clutch here. The closest thing I know to compare it too is that it’s like French Persona, without the high school part of the game (and thank god). Or French Final Fantasy. But if Persona is exceedingly Japanese, this game is unapologetically French.

There’s a mansion that appears/disappears and has doors all over the world. Going into them usually gives a collectable or cosmetic item. That’s where the first one is located. This first shitter is heaven. There’s so much real estate in that bathroom, it’s nuts.

The second one is Old Lumiere, the destroyed ruins of the old city before the world became the world of the game. All that’s left of the ruined building is the floor and a wall.” And a shitter! Pretty sure this very scene is in one of those fever dream scriptures: “And I saw a great white throne, from whose face the earth and heaven fled away.” As it was written, so shall it be!

Get Wrecked shitter!

One of my favorite places in the post-apocalypse Commonwealth is the breathtaking Wreck of the FMS Northern Star, a jungle gym for stealth kills with something for everyone including Norwegian-speaking raiders, mutant mirelurks, a ghoul boss named Rags, and an extremely cute bobblehead. And this shitter, with an underbite, who gives you a Stealth Boy! That’s very thoughtful of this shitter, but by this point in the game, I’m so maxxed out on stealth that I’m invisible even in full sun.