Chain smoker shitter!

I know I’m late as fuck to the party on Deathloop, but I wasn’t jonesed to pay money for a game I wasn’t sure of. Something about it made me doubt, so I waited til it was like 10 dollars or something on sale. And I loved and was obsessed with Dishonored, so I foolishly believed in the shitter potential. But this just ain’t it. I played it for whatever is less than the time they give you to return something to Steam. It’s not challenging and it’s not good. I think it had some kind of online aspect that would have made it make more sense but I don’t play like that, so here we are.

The gameplay itself isn’t the worst part. Usually, Arkane Studios brings the shitters. But these are genuinely so sad. They lack nuance. They are not the points of interest or veritable political cartoons that we see in other Arkane games. They are like afterthoughts, and excuse me, but that’s an affront to this Bucket Brigade.

Here’s one I found that I found mildly interesting. It has a very realistic fine layer of sooty particulates over every surface. Especially on that lamp. If you’ve ever had an elderly smoker aunt in your general sphere, you will recognize it pretty quickly. The texture is almost palpable. Ugh! This shitter really skeeved into my vivid recollection the one time a year I would have been forced to spend time at a house like that, and what a fucking anti-smoking PSA it was.

Anyway, this is the second and only other shitter I captured in Deathloop. They’re really all basically the same using all the same assets, and that disappointed me to the tune of Request Refund. Maybe you loved Deathloop and if you did I’m happy for you but for me Boring Shitters = Bye Bye. I’m manifesting Arkane Studios bringing back that savage Shitter Consultant they had on the payroll for Prey.

Pride shitter?

Fuck, fuck, fuck. It’s still Pride Month, right? At least for the next 24 hrs? I tell you, there’s not enough representation out there and it is bleak but honey, at least this Deathloop shitter is beaming with Pride. Or at least beaming LGBT Lite. There’s still time. Get your feather boas and the striped thigh-highs and sashay your ass on down to the Deathloop for a last-minute frolic. Because once the clock turns July it’s promptly back to greige!

Happy Pride, everybody! Make it a beautiful place and a just world for all!