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Posted on January 24, 2024

Away! This is Raphael’s personal shitcan!

This shitter belongs to Raphael, a smoldering hot Demon Lord who looks like he smells like willowbark aftershave and clean laundry I am HERE FOR IT. His silver-plated plop pot is guarded by this man - Unclean Eternal Debtor - who has the enviable employment as “its admirer, protector, its one true beloved.” Fuck’s sake, man. Get some help. UED dances around it a bit and keeps spectators at a respectful distance. This shitter is everything. A pilgrimage locus, a philosopher’s stone, an anchor point for the shreds of sanity all while holding an exalted position in government!

This shitter is a contender for the 2024 Blue Bowl Awards.

shitter
baldurs gate
best in show

Posted on January 15, 2024

Dead Drop shitter!

…Is it? While approaching Wyrm’s Rock your blinky-balls will zero in like a friggin F/A-18 Hornet on this splintery little stall stapled to the outside of Lord Gortash’s Loire Valley-looking white granite stronghold. I mean wtf is it if not a shitter. We all know it was en vogue for evil castle-dwelling gremlins to just open a hole in the side of the wall and shit through that. Tywin Lannister did it. I was unable to angle the camera to see if there was a little hole on the bottom, and there’s no way to find it from the interior, but there are ZERO shitters inside this entire castle so idk wtf else it could be. It’s just the style of a shithead like Gortash to have only one phantom shitter for himself and none for the hundreds of servants who wait on him hand and foot. We’ve seen it before. Gosh, wouldn’t it have been amazing to corner Gortash’s crumby soul in this little commode and just flush him out like a dirty turd?

baldurs gate
shitter

Posted on December 25, 2023

Waning Moon Tavern shitter!

Amid the chasms and megaflora swallowing up an entire city lies the quaint and loot-laden Waning Moon Tavern. It used to be a watering hole for jolly, plump, rosy-cheeked lads but for the last century it’s been fucked sideways by evil. Reithwin was the quintessential medieval stopover, all Dutch Tudor homes n’ stone byways n’ shit, but now it’s been shadow-cursed up the ass. I think it’s safe to say there’s not enough infrastructure-boosting bipartisan funding in the universe that’ll put it back in order. What’s now a splintering barfbag saloon has ONE potty stall with a CORPSE in it. The shitter is always your final friend!
The outhouse was a great choice for a place to kick the ol’ bucket but when the angels descend, they descend not for thee! The shitter is the only sinless, blameless, perfect little lamb that has been through a LOT and is ready to be assumed into heaven both body and soul.

baldurs gate
shitter

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