Fort-by-the-Outskirts shitter!

You guys, I DID IT! I lived long enough to document this bandit shitter located at the Fort-by-the-Outskirts which was part of my first mercenary contract. One of my secrets to survival in Stoneshard is giving up on ranged weapons. Much to my chagrin, for I dearly love a longbow. The reason I’m here at this fort is because I was geting paid to rescue a cunty, minted queen named Rickerd, the Grand Magistrate’s emissary who was kidnapped for being pretty. His special ability is Château Layabout, a passive skill allowing him to do fuck all and slurp wine at the Black Boar Inn. Don’t ask me how he got kidnapped, he literally never leaves the place. Unless… he got snatched whilst stopping by the Osbrook shitter?? Terrible to think about. Side note, his cell at this bandit fort did not have a shitter. But the bandits here use this one, it’s the only one I found, but the fort can have different floor orientations from game to game. It looks like these bandits are using straw as a way to keep the thing clean. Good on ya, yall murdering, kidnapping lunatics.

Zombies with a side of ranch shitter!

If you’re longing to get your ass handed to you over and over, check out Stoneshard by Ink Stains. The game is still being developed so enjoy getting absolutely facerolled by death again and again, and while you’re at it, take a moment to appreciate these quaint shitters that have lids!

Osbrook is the starter town where you’ll find yourself waking up in a daze from your load game after dying to basically anything and everything relatively quickly. This is where I found these epic ranch shitters. The first is on the outer part of town, the second is right in the heart of the only place you probably can’t die in the entire game. I say probably because I haven’t advanced quite far enough to find out if I can in fact die in Osbrook. I’m going to say yeah that likely does become a thing you can do later on in the game. I’m certainly looking forward to finding out!

Other things you can do while playing Stoneshard: Scrapping just enough cash to “sleep in the inn” aka save your game; barely avoiding starvation by making terrible food from whatever you can find on the ground; watching your arrows miss what’s is directly in front of your face; having just enough daylight to explore 1 square of map. If that pace of near-death appeals to you I’d recommend it. It’s maybe the only game I’ve ever played where you just straight up die in the tutorial.

If you see more Stoneshard posts, it means I have survived long enough to find another shitter! Rub your soapy lil hands together in hopes that I am successful.