Submitted by junior shitter hunter and bucket brigadier Maven from Maven’s Madness! I am proud to present the results of Maven’s first ever shitter safari - These two bathrooms are from the beginning of Bioshock Infinite. Here is some commentary from Maven: “How much do I weigh after using the shitter?” and, “Is this a lounge toilet?”
Another ‘amusement park’ in Columbia, Soldier’s Field features a baffling puzzle that only the most discerning simpleton could ever solve.
In the first photo, we see the Men’s Room (you can tell it’s a Men’s Room because it has a dead dude in it) with a crass graffito scrawled across the urinal station. Elizabeth suggests you start looking for clues. Luckily for you, a huge clue to what the mysterious message says can be found in the hand of the corpse on the floor.
Follow the clue to discover a secret door in a location that is pretty much shouting “This right here is a secret door.” It’s in the empty stall in the adjacent Women’s Room. Sleuthy!
These shitters are brought to you by Bucket Brigadier Minjianaxx! The bathrooms at this entertainment resort are segregated, with obnoxious, rude signs indicating where it is legal or illegal to shit. The nerve of this place. You can’t tell me where to squat.
First we see the “Whites Only” restroom, and if you live in the sky city of Columbia, there is definitely something in the water making you stupid if you saw this and never thought it was bullshit. Velvet drapes? Gross!! The toilet seats don’t even have real lids on them. Every time you flush, there’s a fine mist coating these curtains, and then you’re touching them! The fussy granite urinals positively scream “You’re trying too hard, Prophet.” Additionally, somebody left food in this purse on the floor. Would you eat a shitter apple?
Apart from this, we also have the “Colored/Irish” restroom, which is, well, different, by comparison. The Prophet obviously didn’t shell out the big bucks for contractors on these sinks. Though I have to say, I do not think what is happening with that one sink is actually possible. Princess Comstock will carry on about how it smells in here, right in front of this guy who is just doing his best with what he has to work with. He’s trying so hard, so back off, Elizabeth. Lastly, the “urinal station” is just a trough in the floor. This design element is quite popular in some punk rock clubs in Los Angeles, so maybe they’re onto something.
“Top 10: Videogames Your Girlfriend Will Hate Watching You Play Because She’s Better At Them Than You And This Spectacle Is Just Getting Sad Just Clear The Level Brian It’s A Fucking Houdini Splicer It’s Not Hard Did You Even Listen To Atlas Telling You There Was More Ammo In The Pneumo Tube Literally to Your Immediate Left Oh My God Give Me The Controller Brian That’s Not Even The Right Way Out Of Arcadia And You Missed Like Three Audio Diaries Jesus” is probably a more accurate title if we’re being honest here.”
