José Luis’ Shitter!

You have been tasked with some detective work to find out how a Valentino gangster named José Luis got away with homicide. After tiptoeing into a Heywood car depot, easily bypass the many chauffeurs and sentries to locate José Luis, who looks like he emits the combined odors of Drakkar Noir, rancid onions, and a pet shop that only sells lizards. Before you dump him and his shiny tattoos into the boot of an awaiting car, get a peak at his shitter!

This sight took my breath away and I found myself staring agape at the glaring brilliance of this shitter. This bathroom is fucking amazing. Trash and detritus all over the place. Particles of disintegrating insulation float through god rays that remind you that you ARE in the presence of something magnificent and sacred and tragically beautiful. There is a lone square, black candle by the toilet (off-camera) that I’m certain is Drakkar Noir-scented and is intended as a vigil to lost innocence. The “On A Roll” magazine strategically placed, yet barely any toilet paper, the bucket under the sink pipe, and that towel as if anyone is actually washing their hands here? José Luis! Your shitter is supposed to be your greatest ally in this life! How can he treat his bathroom in this way, with impunity? Did the shitter itself spraypaint that graffiti because I’m starting to think when Marissa sang “She’s Broken, He’s OK” she was talking about THIS shitter and JOSE LUIS! The things monsters do to the ones that care about them the most! José Luis deserves everything that’s coming to him!

Big Brain Toilet!

This shitter with icky chipped wood wainscoting and cleaning supplies scattered about is from The Evil Within 2. You’d think this is just a janitor’s haunt in some drippy basement but did you know this is a Dream Shitter conjured up by an AI?? This was submitted by bucket brigadier ILikeSocks, who says this:

“Game isn’t terrible and the settings are kinda cool in a weird dreamscape kinda way, it’s just got that B Movie acting. This shitter is in a machine that connects human consciousnesses together. The “core brain” went missing in the system so now everything’s corrupted and fucky. It’s kinda like a matrix sim, made to look and feel real so I’m guessing that’s why there’s shitters. The obviously-evil org wants to use this computer/sim technology to control the world/reality somehow. A SHITTERLESS REALITY. Anyway the guy’s daughter Lily, who he thought was dead, her consciousness is being used as the core so that’s why they send him in. That’s the gist. Go looking for daughter, shitter scavenger hunt instead.”

The Gaming Thrones Bucket Brigadier of 2021 is…

Congratulations to bucket brigadier Emrysin! The picture you see here is Emrysin himself, an avid book reader and extreme gamer with a bright future in professional game design consultation. Let’s check in with Emrysin, and ask him some important questions.

First, what drove you to want to attain this prestigious award? “My fierce competitive spirit and my undying love for toilets, but mainly I just wanted to support my friend and their toilet blog. Advocating for awareness of proper hygiene is so important and I feel so honored that I can help contribute to this blog that advocates for that in some small way.”

What kind of games do you usually find yourself playing the most? “I think the first thing I look for in a game is whether or not it’s co-op, and the second thing is if I’m going to enjoy the character progression. I also have a penchant for playing games with magic in them, since I really enjoy magic.”

What games did you enjoy the most in 2021? “Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a game I really enjoyed from 2021. It is full of whimsy and wonder. When I was younger a friend recommended Trine II to me, and it too evoked whimsy in me, and I liked the storytelling, art, and music. Ori and the Blind Forest is another such game. I really enjoy games that challenge me, like Dark Souls III. Also pretty much any game where I can be a healer or a medic, whether that be while slaying zombies, or in challenging RPG moments, or platforming in 2D games or exploring ancient ruins and bustling cities.”

What games are you looking most forward to in 2022? “There are two games which I am so excited about. The first is Baldur’s Gate III, and the second is Elden Ring. I am so looking forward to playing these gmaes with my friends, of course with the inimitable author of the blog that you are currently reading.”

Thank you Emrysin, and we are all on tenterhooks awaiting your next shitter submissions!

Behold! The 2021 Blue Bowl Awards!

Our first place award goes to the Astral Plane shitter of the game Control which was submitted by Bucket Brigadier ILikeSocks! Out of all the impressive member submissions of 2021, this shitter truly rose above all others, in both that it was actually levitating and also in that it has an associated achievement which is so freaking meta.

Our runner-up is the Legacy Shitter from Red Dead Redemption II, submitted by Bucket Brigadier Casper! This shitter had quite a vine-like lineage behind it, almost an astral plane of its own. A powerful backstory and character development is what players yearn for in gaming shitters.

What these shitters have in common and why they are both winners is the element of pause-and-reflect that is built right into them! What games need more of is starry-eyed fan children trading stories about how a shitter changed everything, because that’s how it works in the real world. Astral Plane shitter says “Look at me. I am hovering and tilting through the colorless void. You may not sit upon me. You may only perceive me from yon floor, which is beneath me, and gaze at perfection.” Great! Similarly, you can’t sit on Legacy Shitter. Why? Because it’s a fucking tetanus hazard and very likely there’s a nest of black widow spiders under that seat.

Congratulations to the winners!

Happy New Year 2022, Everyone!

Now that final exams are over, I can truly make a relieving dump of all the game toilets that I have squirreled away throughout the semester. This is just a quick update to let you know that in the coming weeks you will be seeing more shitters, our Blue Bowl Awards for 2021’s best shitter, and the Bucket Brigadier of the Year 2021 - Who will it be? And why? Please look forward to it!

Personal shitter of Cineon (the Fashionista!)

Do you love this alt-textured, expertly-clipped, HIGH ART shitter? This one was submitted by Bucket Brigadier Omni and it was created by someone he knows named The Fashionista Cineon. The mood in this bathroom is everything. The rainbow prism suncatcher, scattering beauty across the walls and floor. The air-scrubbing, friendly plants hanging in the sun that simply pours in through the windows. That Hollywood-grade vanity sparks joy with its clutter-free surface, lit from above by a gentle green Fae lamp! And the tile is actually my favorite flooring in the game. This bathroom is giving me face, body and face!

Let’s talk about the shitter itself, which I believe is an Alpine chair with some kind of pedestal clipped into it. So exceptional. There aren’t any actual shitters in Final Fantasy XIV, which is kind of strange, given Japan’s notoriously positive Toilet Culture. So it’s up to intrepid designers like Cineon to craft them from the raw materials they find in the wild. Well done, Fashionista!

Apocalyptic Variety Shit Show!

I hope you like the design of this collage, brought to us by Bucket Brigadier Alec! These shitters come from three different locations in Fallout: New Vegas, with the following commentary: “The first one is from the Lucky 38’s Presidential Suite. The second one is from a casino, and everyone got murdered in the casino and that’s all I know about it. That last one is the Crimson Caravan Company.” I’m sorry, I just have to jump in here and ask how freaking presidential is that first shitter?? Am I right or am I right? YES, give me all the slate-gray, high-traffic, low-pile, airport-quality, wall-to-wall CARPET in my bathroom, Mr. President!

Thank you for your submission Alec! Every submission represents a donation to the 2021 World Toilet Day!.

Mood-Altering Shitters!

Did you know that shitters can actually produce reality-bending effects on the mind?? This postulate is certainly implied by what we see here. These shitters are from The Sims and you can see the effects of the shitters’ psychedelic, strange auras on the very impressionable AIs. In the first place, we see a Happy Child - now, she could be happy because of the beautiful shitter, or is she happy because of the Neighborhood Brawl? Second observe, the Very Sad Woman - Why is she sad? The shitter is different, but the Neighborhood Brawl is the same. So, her warped mindset must be owed to the otherworldly aura of the shitter! Lastly, we see the maddening effect that multiple types of shitters have on the little people, as the third woman paces, gesticulates, and mutters to herself. This is likely due to the dramatic variations in shitters present! The power of the shitter is something we truly have yet begun to unravel.

These shitters were presented by Bucket Brigadier Emrysin!

Sentient Toilet Roll!

This sentient toilet paper roll was submitted by Bucket Brigadier Fongaboo! It appears in the award-winning reality sim game, Everything, where you can attain sentience as basically any object, including the Most RolyPoly Holy Toilet Roll! This is the ultimate form, by the way. He won the game.

Our Campaign has Begun!

As promised, our campaign for World Toilet 2021 has commenced and it kicks off with a donation that represents all the Shitter Submissions from our Bucket Brigade during the last year. This will continue until World Toilet Day on November 19, so please consider joining us by clicking our campaign link and making a donation of $1! This would mean a lot not only to me but to the entire world to receive your generous donation toward this extremely worthy cause.

I’m very excited and honored to be taking this journey with you toward a better tomorrow, full of healthy and responsible sanitation for everyone!