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Posted on September 17, 2023

Ransacked Research Outpost shitter!

When Crimson Fleet scum invaded a research outpost on Bessel III they fucked this place sideways. Food left out or devoured, smashed furniture, and ROWDY GANG GRAFFITI with big Tunnel Snakes energy turned this science site into a sorry sight. That one guy who worries what the neighbors must think (there’s always one) left notes behind saying “Fix your shit, you barbarian slobs”, which didn’t go over well. Is that his blood on the ground?? Of course, the shitter is the real victim here.

shitter
starfield
shitters of fear

Posted on September 13, 2023

New Homestead shitter!

On Saturn’s moon Titan, beneath the frozen lifeless surface, a humble homestead appears to barely cling to dignity. The settlement tour guide nervously chuckled before providing the following hushed admonition: “Some people actually live here, so try to be respectful of that.” Here’s where we can see a fair few of these meager crannies where people are bunking, and in one I found a book entitled Charity in a Godless World. Indeed, it certainly seems as though this is one of those places where people just insist on building in spite of all indications that the biome cannot support human life. But appearances are deceiving. Because LOOK at these shitters. In solid hammered copper with ergonomic backrests, I’m pretty sure these are over $4000 each from the Modo Bath catalogue. Derelicte!!!! The FEMA shipping container aesthetic with a Vault-Tec aroma. There is also a public bathroom, but why would you want to use something so plastic and economical when you have a personalized and naturally anti-bacterial version for your very own, luxurious ass?

shitter
starfield

Posted on September 10, 2023

Frontier shitter!

Starfield is here, and it has shitters. Oh, thank Christ. I feel I would have been charged with a crime if this had not been so. Here we see a gorgeous interstellar shitter on your ship, the Frontier, and it’s the first one you can find! Why are we still using toilet paper in year 2330? Who knows! Nobody’s really asking that question, nobody wants to know the answer, we have shitters and I am not complaining. This is beautiful cabinet shitter has soap, it has a diary entry, and it’s all mine. It used to be Barrett’s, and of course we’re gonna wanna wipe it down before calling this place home, but damn if this isn’t some of the finest hospitality in all the universe. Bless you, Bethesda, for your continued tradition of Shitter Excellence! Shitter Safari, away!

shitter
starfield

Posted on September 9, 2023

Idle Hands shitter!

Seems that while condemned to eke out a life on frozen barren shithole planet Grizzit’s civilian outpost, one of the colonists quit this bitch due North into the wilds. Now I’ve been tasked to retrieve him, but I say Why? If I had walked in on this scene of lotion, a box of tissues, and the freshly cracked spine on a brand new edition of War of the Worlds I’d have promptly pirouetted into the tundra as well. You have to ask yourself: Is it the titillating tale of giant lasers transforming humanity into a big goo smear, or the triumph of tiny bacteria over alien invaders that does it for them? I’m not prepared to state that either option would give me the gasms.

You know what? Who can really say, afterall maybe these were the deserter’s own leavings. Maybe his real final straw was the toxic positivity of the encouraging cartoon on the floor of the outpost’s second shitter.

shitter
starfield

Posted on August 23, 2023

Blue Lagoon shitter (Women’s Room)!

This fucking game, man. Here’s a shot of the gendered bathrooms in the hottest club in the citay, the Blue Lagoon. For our purposes, we will just refer to it as La Discothèque Benêt, because the managerial squad of this joint share one single exhausted brain cell.

These club shitters are denoted by gauche and florid neon signs featuring ancient Greek pictograms for the elements thouros (iron) and phosphoros (copper). Madison Paige resigns herself to the pink option and goes in to become Scorching Hot as a requisite component of her quest. You see, when ladies access the bathroom in La Discothèque Benêt, it’s because they wish to become even more exceedingly beautiful, thus vending machines with toothbrushes and hair spra (purse size!) are required. By the way you can’t even go into these stalls, but why would you need to because women don’t poop?! They survive with mirrors and cheap disposable cosmetics alone! Who runs this club, a clique of recently-demonetized YouTubing red pillers, with itty bitty little purse-sized brains?

The actual answer is entrepreneurial sigma crime lord Paco Mendes. The mafia runs the Blue Lagoon. There’s no salvaging the lack of shitter, but let’s just swap that vending junk for some essential club sundries. Change out the fresh kisses n’ pretty smiles crap for condoms, and instead of hair spray make it bear spray. Basic supplies for the gun-toting amateur-journalist-turned-rogue-investigator on the go!

shitter
heavy rain

Posted on August 23, 2023

Susan Bowles’ shitter!

Ignore the most disgusting part about this image, that being Detective Scott Shelby erected like a befuddled, hostile moai blockading the entrance to this stellar shitter. Look at that face. No thoughts in head, maybe just wants Pringles.

This is the home of Susan Bowles, a name that clearly states she is a shitter advocate and a woman who didn’t exactly ask for help but Scott Shelby shows up anyway. Without giving up too many details, let’s just say he discovers Susan in the process of ensuring her second child has about as much of a future as her first. Yeesh. But enough about that, get a load of this shitter, the cleanest, most sparkly, gorgeous and artful part of this dreadful scene!

Shitter is gorgeous, gotta give Susan that much credit. It’s good to see she has her priorities straight. But that chipping paint on the door frame has me concerned for baby Emily’s daily intake of lead supplements.

shitter
heavy rain

Posted on August 22, 2023

Peekaboo, you shitter, you!

I see you, mother fucker! At this angle, the elevated cistern serves as a beacon saying “Right here, bitches”, so you’re sure to spot it from a mile away.

This Disco Elysium shitter has been gifted by none other than Bucket Brigadier ILikeSocks, who says: “I’m a detective in quasi-1984-meets-Dishonored world in the occupied zone of Revachol. I’m investigating a homicide, looks like a hanging, on day 4 of a 5-day investigation. So far I’ve broken into homes, punched a child, stolen a child’s drugs, my necktie talks to me, my wife left me. I keep doing speed and other drugs to get them sweet sweet stat boosts. I now go by the name Tequila Sunset. I’ve joined Communism, I’m a barely-functioning whacky mess on speed. Sometimes I even remember I’m investigating a homicide.”

shitter
disco elysium
bucket brigade

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