They’re flushing the smiles!

Hunty, what the fuck is “Smile for Me”? It’s a creepy and beautiful acid trip made from mixed media and interactive puzzles. You play Flower Kid, and while at The Habitat you meet strange folks, solve problems on their behalf, and get to sleep in a Cowboy Bed. The main objective is to prevent everyone from “losing their smiles forever” to the vindictive yet sensitive, clownish and gender non-conforming villain Dr. Boris Habit. So here’s the shitter.. and look! there’s a smile right inside it! Turns out this is a quest item. This shitter is submitted by Bucket Brigadier Rockin T!

You can always Go Home to a Clean Bathroom

This shitter is brought to us by Bucket Brigadier Rockin T from the game Gone Home which is serving up Indie Vibes with that font. Says our brigadier: “I actually don’t FULLY remember the plot of this game but it’s the 90s and you’re a woman who’s come home to an empty house and you look through it to unravel the truth of your sister’s first love. Essentially while you’ve been away, your younger sister fell in love with a woman and the family wasn’t supportive and everything sorta fell apart so now the house has been largely abandoned.”

Deplorable, shitty family dynamics need not necessarily translate into deplorable bathroom situations, because as we can see this is a fairly spotless restroom, all things considered. Damn. This shitter has witnessed some truly bad parenting, and although it too was abandoned, we are taking a moment to appreciate it once again because look at that elegant, elevated cistern. Not something I would put in my own bathroom but hey the 90s were crazy baby. AND BY THE WAY, that push-button flusher was patented in 1993, so FINALLY we get video game designers who actually do their RESEARCH! (I’m looking at you, Fallout 76).

Mobile Home Park Shitter!

Ever just lose your keys and then think “Of course, I’ve left them in the shitter.” If so, the best advice I can give you for this LIFE is to just not take things out of your pocket while you are in the bathroom. It will make everything much easier for you, you will lose less things and touch fewer germs overall. From Bucket Brigadier ILikeSocks, this keyless entry is from Alan Wake remastered, a horror game that isn’t very scary. Our Brigadier-submitted commentary follows thusly:

It takes place in the same universe as Control and one of the DLCs was related to it. I’m expecting a lot of weird paranormal shit and that won’t make sense. It’s like “Totally Not Stephen King” from the 2010s. All their games are weird AF but I love their stories for some reason. Also it’s clear to me now Remedy is a smaller studio because they reuse all the same voice actors. Not that I mind because they all have 10/10 narrator voices.

Alan wake has the worlds weakest flashlight. The battery drains in like 5 seconds. In this scene, our Shitter Safari takes place as the hero tries to find car keys to get back to the cabin. Your wife is missing (I mean you were probably divorcing anyway) and there’s like evil darkness fucking with everything. Fun Fact: The stall on the right there you can’t open because some nerd is waiting to pop out (I had to reset game because the lights went out and I couldn’t take these glam shots). I’m finding manuscripts I haven’t written yet. and it seems like at this place you can write fiction to be real or something.

Cmon, concentrate! If you could write fiction to become reality anywhere in the world, it should be while on the shitter. Everyone knows the best thinking of the day happens right here, after all the gut is lined with brain-equivalence neurons.

Calisto Protocol Tutorial Shitter: Solitary Confinement!

Bucket Brigadier ILikeSocks is taking us to the major leagues with a collection of Shitters of Fear from the Future. Horror survival game Callisto Protocol thrills us in the first 30 seconds with a prison shitter, which I love to see. Some sage wisdom from Socks:

“I literally have no idea what’s going on in the story yet. It’s basically a dead space game. Which itself was basically Resident Evil 4 in Space. You crash your “Aliens”-style cargo ship, and they are like “Guess you’re in prison now,” then monsters break out. I was supposed to take an elevator up but it went down because it was broken for plot reasons so they have you go through solitary as an alternate route. This is the Solitary Confinement shitter. Everyone loves shitters of fear, but no one wants one in real life.”

Too fucking true, dude. We delight in the beauty of the Shitter of Fear, but rarely admit the utter debacle it has gone through to acheive that beauty. Let’s break it down: This prisoner was evidently a shrewd DIY crafter because look at all those empty TP rolls. Everyone knows you can make many delightful decorations and ornaments with these! This restroom is obviously a MAKERSPACE. Pair that with copy of the Tao Te Ching you see on the shitterside console and your inner anthropological detective begins to form a portrait of who this prisoner was: A thoughtful introvert who just cared too much. And what a comfort it must have been to have this bulletproof shitter, pulling double-duty as a sink, for a companion during their time of great personal turmoil. Shitters of Perseverance!

Dormitory Death Shitter!

Submitted by Bucket Brigadier Rockin T, this shitter comes to us from Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc! A visual novel adventure game, it is exceptional due to the fact that it accounts for the requirement of bathroom breaks in any adventure. This scene shows us the death of Sayaka Maizono, and her corpse is in Makoto Naegi’s dorm bathroom. Her vital fluids are hot pink because this is the cute sort of horror. As told by our Brigadier: “She was killed here trying to frame Makoto for murder by killing Leon, but then Leon tried to kill her instead and she hid in the bathroom, but he managed to kill her with the knife. In this scene, you’re examining the room for evidence! They think the killer is Makoto originally, but you go through the trial and are able to prove that it was Leon! You can’t see it in this screenshot, but behind her, she wrote LEON, but upside-down because she drew it in blood with her finger on the wall so it was facing her. So, it looks like it says 11037 because the line between the N is too smudged. A lot of the trial is figuring out the importance of the code.”

I seem to remember this exact plot from an episode of Matlock wherein a dying woman still had the strength necessary to program her VCR to the time “3:37” because her killer’s name was LEE. She was also upside-down at the time. If you know anything about programming a VCR, it requires every ounce of your concentration plus black magic fuckery and the help of a TI-84 Plus graphing calculator, and a sextant couldn’t hurt, so I have doubts.

The toilet in this scene is very interesting. Fun fact: Contrary to an outsider’s assumption of sheer ignorance, this toilet is NOT behind a transparent partition of performative privacy theater. Rather, this ladycorpse is in a shower, and the toilet could only look on helplessly through the glass as this terrible crime was perpetrated. No one ever asks a shitter to testify, and I think that’s a loophole that killers often capitalize upon!

It’s almost here!

Mark your cal- What am I saying? Surely your calendars are already marked for November 19, World Toilet Day 2022! In previous years, we have joined forces with Omninuts and his Nutsack community, as well as held separate fundraising exercises via third-party fundraising websites, to collectively raise over $1000 for our beloved World Toilet Organization! This year, it’s time for something a little different and Gaming Thrones will be making a donation on behalf of the Bucket Brigade. I hope you will all join me in celebrating this joyous day by participating in the World Toilet Summit, this year taking place in Abuja, Nigeria.

Here’s a little about one of their latest projects, SaniShop Mozambique:

Mozambique is in the top 10 countries in the world in terms of number of people defecating in the open. In addition there is huge inequality in access to sanitation. Nationally only 19 percent have access to improved sanitation, and in rural areas only around 6 percent of the population have improved sanitation. Open defecation rates nationally are around 40 percent, but among the rural poor – it’s 96%!

From 2014-2017, SaniShop Mozambique will be developed in the peri-urban areas of Maputo City. This project is being undertaken in collaboration with Mozambique-based NGO ESTAMOS, ACRA-CCS, and funded by the Italian Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

In 2014, WTO worked with our partners eKutir, along with ACRA-CCS to train our NGO partner in Mozambique ESTAMOS for the setting up of SaniShop, including two site visits to the project in Maputo.

These are the kind of efforts that you help support when you donate just one dollar to the World Toilet Organization. Gaming Thrones pledges $5 for each and every Bucket Brigadier submission which is donated on World Toilet Day - November 19! I hope to see YOU at the World Toilet Summit! You can register for a virtual ticket at the World Toilet Org website!

Every Toilet has a Twin!

They say that everyone on Earth has a doppelgänger, but did you know that your shitter has one too? Yes, it’s true - in fact, every shitter on Earth has one, and YOU can find your own shitter’s own doppelgänger at Toilet Twinning! Pick from nine rockstar locales and twin your toilet - in exchange, Toilet Twinning will fund workshops which provide training and community-building to teach families to build and maintain their own sanitation systems. It’s a powerful way to elevate opportunities for underserved communities, and you’ll get a cool certificate that you can hang in your bathroom so you can remember that, with each and every flush, you’ve made a difference in the lives of people you may never meet. #Twinning!

Dungeon Rose shitter!

You know how much I love me a dungeon shitter. Today’s submission is from Bucket Brigadier ILikeSocks who reminds us that in the darkest hour, there’s always a glimmer of hope. In this case, it’s a standard wood-plank crapper with no seat. You’re meant to sit your ass directly on that surface, and imagine the creepy crawlies making a home in there. Says our brigadier: “Resident Evil 8 ended with you dying and saving your daughter. Turns out you were made of mold the entire 7th and 8th game. Shadows of Rose DLC is 16 years after RE8. You go into the mold hivemind/dreamscape to get rid of your powers. Shitter is in the beginning of the DLC. In the dungeons, I think.” This shit reads like a wartime journal entry.

But this isn’t scary at all

I know what you’re thinking. “What descent into madness?” Can you really call it that, when you have a friend like this for your spirit guide? Look at it, cheerfully waiting to usher you down into the bowels of this stinking pit, where you’ll meet a lunatic who is a pleasure to know. Lorenzo Cabot! He may as well be the Lord of the Underworld, at least in this universe, as he’s the closest to undead without being a ghoul that you’re likely to meet. And he’s so grateful for your help in escaping this shithole, gives you permanent stat buffs for the rest of the game. Can’t really beat that.

Bobbi’s Swiss Army shitter!

Do you aspire to be an alt-legitimate businesswoman, and to one day tunnel into an administrative treasury building? Take a leaf out of of the playbook of Bobbi No-Nose, the steely-eyed ghoul bitch who fucking hates the post-apocalypse Boston government. She’s a couple hundred years ahead of you, so if you wanna get on Bobbi’s level, the first thing you’ll need to do is hire a couple of patsies to do your dirty work. Queens do not sully their own hands.

Unfortunately for Bobbi, the patsy she hires is you and in the course of digging right into the crumbling, decaying bedrock of a once-great city, you kind of completely ruin Bobbi’s plans and her entire life. What makes this so tragic is Bobbi isn’t even worse than any of the murderers, assholes, pill pushers and mafiosos in the Wasteland. If not for the sidequest, this calculating entrepreneuse could have made it into the record books and gotten away with the heist of the millenium!

And where did our #WomanInTech cook up the blueprint for that heist? Right here is where the magic happens, baby! A home office that is also a secure place for stolen goods, also a storage facility, also a fucking pigsty for random garbage and also a SHITTER! Anyone who works from home knows if you want to get anything done you need that shitter close to your workstation and Bobbi closes the gap with this ludicrous life hack.