Blue Lagoon shitter (Women’s Room)!

This fucking game, man. Here’s a shot of the gendered bathrooms in the hottest club in the citay, the Blue Lagoon. For our purposes, we will just refer to it as La Discothèque Benêt, because the managerial squad of this joint share one single exhausted brain cell.

These club shitters are denoted by gauche and florid neon signs featuring ancient Greek pictograms for the elements thouros (iron) and phosphoros (copper). Madison Paige resigns herself to the pink option and goes in to become Scorching Hot as a requisite component of her quest. You see, when ladies access the bathroom in La Discothèque Benêt, it’s because they wish to become even more exceedingly beautiful, thus vending machines with toothbrushes and hair spra (purse size!) are required. By the way you can’t even go into these stalls, but why would you need to because women don’t poop?! They survive with mirrors and cheap disposable cosmetics alone! Who runs this club, a clique of recently-demonetized YouTubing red pillers, with itty bitty little purse-sized brains?

The actual answer is entrepreneurial sigma crime lord Paco Mendes. The mafia runs the Blue Lagoon. There’s no salvaging the lack of shitter, but let’s just swap that vending junk for some essential club sundries. Change out the fresh kisses n’ pretty smiles crap for condoms, and instead of hair spray make it bear spray. Basic supplies for the gun-toting amateur-journalist-turned-rogue-investigator on the go!

Susan Bowles’ shitter!

Ignore the most disgusting part about this image, that being Detective Scott Shelby erected like a befuddled, hostile moai blockading the entrance to this stellar shitter. Look at that face. No thoughts in head, maybe just wants Pringles.

This is the home of Susan Bowles, a name that clearly states she is a shitter advocate and a woman who didn’t exactly ask for help but Scott Shelby shows up anyway. Without giving up too many details, let’s just say he discovers Susan in the process of ensuring her second child has about as much of a future as her first. Yeesh. But enough about that, get a load of this shitter, the cleanest, most sparkly, gorgeous and artful part of this dreadful scene!

Shitter is gorgeous, gotta give Susan that much credit. It’s good to see she has her priorities straight. But that chipping paint on the door frame has me concerned for baby Emily’s daily intake of lead supplements.

Peekaboo, you shitter, you!

I see you, mother fucker! At this angle, the elevated cistern serves as a beacon saying “Right here, bitches”, so you’re sure to spot it from a mile away.

This Disco Elysium shitter has been gifted by none other than Bucket Brigadier ILikeSocks, who says: “I’m a detective in quasi-1984-meets-Dishonored world in the occupied zone of Revachol. I’m investigating a homicide, looks like a hanging, on day 4 of a 5-day investigation. So far I’ve broken into homes, punched a child, stolen a child’s drugs, my necktie talks to me, my wife left me. I keep doing speed and other drugs to get them sweet sweet stat boosts. I now go by the name Tequila Sunset. I’ve joined Communism, I’m a barely-functioning whacky mess on speed. Sometimes I even remember I’m investigating a homicide.”

Not Me, Not Today shitter!

Yes, Disasterpiece is both the name of this quest and theme of this mess and we are all saying “Not Me.” Wilson!!!!!!!!! This shitter deserves the Last Friend in the World trophy for the work it is doing holding the entire room together. It’s situated as the lawgiver, counselor, and priest for the eight damned souls who would be sardined into this hokey. This shitter would score ESTJ on the Myers-Briggs. Incredible that there is also a sink, which brings the sanitation level of this prison shitter to ‘ultra-rare.’

Restaurant restroom!

This swank shitter from Persona 5 Royal was submitted by our 2023 Bucket Brigadier of the Year ILikeSocks who is just throwing down the shitters one after the next and who gives us this ringing endorsement:

“It’s more of a phantom shitter, but there’s a musical flusssssh. Persona 5 Royal is like an anime you play. It’s got style out the butt. You’re some kid who got expelled and your “punishment” is to move away from your parents, get transferred to a new school, and live alone above a restaurant. This shitter is at the cafe you now live at as part of your probation. You were given the room by the owner because (if I remember this right) your parents know another customer that eats at that restaurant so they asked the owner? Idk. It’s the flimsiest of reasons but whatever free curry. I read the dialogue and my brains went “That’s so fucking stupid it isn’t even really important to the story”, I just live above this restaurant now because main character 🤷🏻‍♂️. The game opens with you conducting a heist, but you were betrayed shortly after fighting people that turned into giant codpiece-wearing leopard men… From the little I’ve gathered you can go into people, and fight their demons and shit. When it goes all psychedelic everything’s super sexual and BDSM. I’ve only played like 30 minutes of what guessing is a very long and very weird game, but the intro was so groovy I’m committed.”

Speedrun to punch Solas’ shit-talking mouth in under 8 minutes by Issala

Absence of Humanity shitters!

In this visual demonstration, we will observe the strange juxtaposition of two fates: First, the confident and unflinching outerspace shitter from the Callisto Protocol game intro. It’s a stalwart shitter, military-grade. No nonsense, yet kitted out with some extras. You got your antimicrobial purple light inside the bowl. TP stowed where it stays clean. Although it be a humble bar of green Irish Spring, there is soap. And you got your safety strip on the floor so you watch your step, I guess. Last but not least, the main character is at ease here and he doesn’t even have the HP tracker shit on the back of his neck yet. Haute riche.

But then we see the other side of the coin, or the ‘underside of the seat’, as it were. This shit right here is what happens when both sanitation and humanity goes by the wayside because what do you get? A shitter of fear. This is Solitary Confinement Cell C1. The poor soul that was chucked in this oubliette had to make the best of what they had, which is just really fucking unacceptable in an age of space exploration! Note the desperate attempt to remain tidy, evident in the tooth care supplies stowed in a little cup. Roll your mouse over that if you really wanna see this nightmare of filth.

But the crazy shit is there are people on Earth right now who actually do live in conditions like this, in our modern age. More than 25% of our global population lacks access to basic sanitation, which makes groups like the World Toilet Organization so integral to quality of life and dignity. This generous contribution of two shitters from Bucket Brigadier ILikeSocks qualifies as two separate submissions, translating to a $10 donation to the World Toilet Organization. Check out “Why Toilets?” in the menu to bless your eyes with more information on the WTO. This and all the other Brigadier submissions will be sent in on World Toilet Day which is November 19! Thank you again to all the Bucket Brigadiers for continued excellence in Shitter Hunting.

Shelter shitter!

Here’s a shitter from Marvel’s Spider-Man Remastered submitted by bucket brigadier Rockin T! Ok, it’s not a shitter, it’s the cruel ILLUSION of a shitter; you can’t even go in to see it. “Sadly we cannot enter this bathroom. It’s at a homeless shelter Peter’s Aunt May runs. And honestly the plot rn is sorta like all over the place like it’s not very cohesive, but basically you put this big hotshot villain Kingpin in prison and a ton of smaller criminals are coming out of the woodwork to get control of New York. In particular this group of “Demons” and assorted thugs. So far, the shelter has been relatively important.” A shitter is a really important component to a shelter, Marvel! Show us the pipes! We wanna see human dignity! Actually, wouldn’t it be so fucking bonkers if Aunt May’s shelter didn’t even have a shitter? Like that door’s just painted on? Next-level villain shit!

Billy and Becky Explore a shitter!

I’m not afraid of zombies, but I am afraid of AI-controlled zombie extermination units which is technically what Billy really is in Resident Evil Zero. Full disclosure: I cranked the brightness all the way up on these because the entire game is enshrouded in Ultra Evil Aura gray that obscures what we are all here to see: Shitters. Here we see Billy and Rebecca traversing a filthy restroom with a bank of urinals on one side and stalls on the other. GENEROUS portions of toilet paper have been doled out in this apocalyptic horror mess, which is quite comforting. Loving the windows over the urinals! Scenic mood! This shitter was submitted by bucket brigadier Rockin T, and as far as this brigadier can tell it is the only shitter in RE0. What a precious archaeological discovery! Our brigadier says the following: ‘Rebecca Chambers is a young medic for Special Tactics and Rescue Service (STARS) and Billy Coen is a war criminal (or is he?). They’re currently in a bathroom within a ~spooky~ mansion that is infested with specially-developed bioterrorism leeches.’ Rockin T goes on to explain that a Leech Man jumps out to surprise you in this bathroom. You know what surprises ME? There’s no flusher on this toilet?! HELLO? It’s always nice to see shitters in a game, well done Resident Evil, but is what we are seeing here mere Sanitation Theatre? A shitter is so much more than its bowl!

Low Resolution Shitter!

Bucket Brigadier ILikeSocks is back again with another shitter, this one is out of Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Wildlands, and sweetie, we are all saying woof at those grainy polygons. I don’t think this would kill you, even though it does look like a shitter at a gas station, but I can’t say anything bad about the sink. Good luck getting your human body out of the stalls (with actual doorknobs) that open fully into the space where you’re intended to be standing. How does the door clear the bowl?