
Posted on October 18, 2025
Cabot House shitter!
The Cabot family was one of the OG pirates who, back in the 1700s, took a liking to the shores of the new world and decided they weren’t ever going to leave. And in 2287, they’re still fucking here, but instead of leeching off the native land they’re leeching off their own grandpa, Lorenzo Cabot, who I guess can make a green immortality juice from his own blood?? Absolutely savage elder abuse. But their house is full of super nice stuff; a billiards room kitted out with bourbon and clean couches, a crazy lab with tons of working diagnostic displays, and archeological relics, such as a Hittite block. But mostly, it’s practically the only place other than a Vault that isn’t covered in radioactive crud. All this can be yours once you help Lorenzo retake his position as patriarch and eliminate the others. Damn, yet another family of veritable vampires. And the nicest thing they have is this shitter, which boasts fluffy white towels, a full roll of TP, shiny hardware, and a toilet with a push-button flush mechanism. It’s pretty nice, but if it was my place, I’d probably put up wallpaper. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I could bring myself to touch that nasty old newspaper, even if reading while on the toilet helps things move along faster.