Submitted by junior shitter hunter and bucket brigadier Maven from Maven’s Madness! I am proud to present the results of Maven’s first ever shitter safari - These two bathrooms are from the beginning of Bioshock Infinite. Here is some commentary from Maven: “How much do I weigh after using the shitter?” and, “Is this a lounge toilet?”
So… let’s talk for a minute about Emily Kaldwin, and her “reign as Empress.” Young Emily came to power in 1827, in the original Dishonored, when she was about 10 years old. She remained Empress for 15 years until she was temporarily deposed by Delilah in Dishonored 2. As the heir, she was raised to become Empress, and during the 15 years of actually being the Empress, she did fuckall, let’s be honest. These damning photos are from the Addermire Institute of Infectious Disease.
This horrendous display caused me to exclaim, “Where were you, Emily?!” I had to jack the brightness all the way up just to see anything in this dark-as-fuck hallway. These are the only shitters I could find in the entire complex, and where the people in charge (Emily Kaldwin and Co) expect you to find repose when you’re being treated for plague. This ain’t clean, Empress! And I took these pictures at great personal risk, as there were fat, jingling loot sacks (also called ‘guards’) patrolling up and down, whining about how hard they work. A swarm of them even parked themselves in the stairwell so they could play dice.
This fucking place. No one was running inspections here. It is busted, sad, and an affront to human dignity. None of us who has suffered from a secondary infection while in a hospital can fail to experience a fountain of fury bubbling up inside after witnessing this mess. Let’s all stand and salute the shitters; these noble, stoic sentries, keeping it together in the face of extreme bullcrap.
Emily Kaldwin was a shit Empress, and she deserved to be kicked off the throne. Hopefully, she learned something! If you play Dishonored 2 as Emily, try to earn back the title, won’t you?
Here’s a bathroom in a residence not far from Stilton manor, with about 4 inches of silver dust piling up on the floor, and boarded-up windows that barely let the light in. Hard labor in the silver mines of Karnaca is tough, and the most naïve among us suffer the greatest - in this case, the shitters. Oh, don’t look at me like that. The resident of this apartment didn’t really ‘break their back’ in Stilton Mines. They’re definitely exaggerating! First of all, that slogan is slapped on walls and alleyways all up and down this street. And second, how’d they reach over the clawfoot porcelain tub like that to write on the wall with a broken back? No, the one who has it the worst is the shitter, because God knows what terrible fate befell it. My shocked face quickly shifted into my sad face when I saw this wooden potty with no chamberpot inside. Let’s cross our fingers that the bowl got lucky, hopped a ferry, and is living out the rest of its days on a vineyard somewhere in Tyvia.
Submitted by Bucket Brigadier Minjianaxx, who says: “This was in the research facility for Argent Energy, which is an energy source found in Hell that can make infinite energy. The leader fucked up and let some bitch open a hell wave on Mars turning 60% of the people into demons, and the rest got killed horribly by said demons.”
A hatch hangs open on the ceiling. That doesn’t look safe, gamer! Exceptional photography by this Brigadier, who snapped a shot of the shitter itself in the midst of a melee.
If you were at all skeptical over the virtue of your deus ex machina actions concerning Aramis Stilton, allow this to allay your doubts.
A little backstory: When you first tiptoe through Stilton Manor, you’ll find evidence of a lot of interrupted renovation work. There’s stone and mortar piled about, new layout maps, and notes left here and there mentioning a planned housing expansion. But this was all halted, and due to the witchcraft debacle of 1849, Stilton Manor was never renovated. But if you use the Outsider’s timepiece to travel back to that fateful day, and throw a wrench into Delilah’s plans (just knock Stilton out with a sleep dart while he’s muttering to himself on the back patio), the timeline changes, and so does Stilton Manor. Instead of a festering heap of copious bloodfly hives, the mansion will transform into an airy, artsy retreat with endless halls of smooth white marble.
And here’s the real proof that you did the right thing, hero. In the alternate present, this area, once blocked off for renovation, becomes an office with an en suite. The penultimate reward for a job well done is this immaculate shitter, which would not even exist, if not for you.
Venture into the Neuro Mod Division’s waterlogged and partially-electrified gender-neutral bathroom to see a spooky shitter! Proceed into the inky blackness with extreme caution, using your flashlight to identify the corpses of various crew members. If you are brave enough to make it to the shitter, there’s an unusual prize waiting for you: A pile of eel scraps! Neat!
“It’s not flawless, but it’s here” is what the delivery doctor said when they handed Baby Ulfric Stormcloak to his mother. It’s also the announcement I’m making today about the new mobile version of Gaming Thrones! I’m very excited to present this mobile version, as it is the result of a lot of hard work. It will probably receive numerous adjustments in the coming days, but it is my hope that this new application will be exactly what the Bucket Brigade needs when you’re on the go. To properly view the mobile theme, you might have to flush the cached data from when you viewed the site previously with your device.
Thanks for your continued viewership, Bucket Brigade!
