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Posted on August 17, 2019

Condemned Bar’s shitter!

Submitted by Bucket Brigadier Khazya! This shitter is located at a defunct saloon. You’ll find it near the beginning of the Addermire Institute mission. I’m really into these humble-proud Shopkeeper Shitters lately. Given how poorly the rest of this building is looking, the barkeep has kept his personal space quite neat and tidy in contrast! His affairs are all in order on that desk. The blankets are folded very nicely! He’s trying so hard to keep semblance of order in this crock of shit that we call The Empire of the Isles. Doing his duty! If this guy traded spots with Emily Kaldwin for a day, I think we’d see at least some of the daily necessities addressed.

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bucket brigade

Posted on August 11, 2019

Amh Araeng Mining Camp shitter…..?

Here’s a place in Amh Araeng that will leave you asking “…Is it?” Near a mining camp called Nuvy’s Leavings, you’ll find a strange building resembling an outhouse. If you smash your camera into the door frame, you can see that there is nothing inside except some grass that clips through the raised floorboards. The unusual door on this itty bitty outbuilding begs the question. It’s clearly designed to allow for visual inspection of feet beneath the door, which suggests the building is an outhouse. But if it is, it is the first such structure of its kind in Final Fantasy 14.

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Posted on August 5, 2019

Karnaca Enclave Barber Shop shitter!

I’ve been away for a little minute taking some summer classes, but don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Brigade! Here’s a nice spot to freshen up off the main room of a barber shop in the Karnaca Enclave. This is really an example of an excellent shitter. For the location, it’s very clean. There’s a lot of detail in this one - The decorative floor tiling, the busted paint job, the personal care products on the sink, even that storage locker that seems a bit out of place. It’s both humble and proud, with that fantastic “I’m just doing my best” ambiance that I adore in a Shopkeeper Shitter. I like to imagine the designer getting into the mindset of the NPC who runs this place and setting up the backdrop accordingly. Definitely a blue ribbon shitter.

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best in show

Posted on July 5, 2019

The Crone’s Hand Saloon shitters!

Paolo’s hideaway of The Crone’s Hand Saloon features two shitters - First, a cozy W.C. with buckets (because why not), a wastepaper basket, and receptacle for floor cigarettes. It flushes. Not much else to say.

Second, a very nice bedroom suite shitter with the usual trimmings, plus a convenient cutout in the wall for assassins like me. I’m sure you noticed too that these thugs just toss their dirty shirts on the bathroom floor because they’re living the high life. All rich people do it. It’s a silent declaration of “Fuck you. My 8-button, dupioni collared garment is now on the floor because I am bored of it.” Full disclosure: The wealth of the Howlers Gang is entirely comprised of wealth they co-opted from the pockets of other people.

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Posted on July 5, 2019

Freakish Love Effigy at Dunwall Tower.

I guess Delilah thinks this is supposed to make Corvo fall in love with her, or something? So, like, mote it be, an’ shit.

dishonored

Posted on June 25, 2019

Dunwall Storage Hallway shitter - Post-Delilah Takeover!

Remember the unexpected storage hallway shitter that caught you unawares, right before you left Dunwall Tower? Well look who’s still here at the end of the game, waiting right by the door when you return home, like a grizzled, faithful hound!

Has your old pal, Hall Shitter, suffered from use, disrespect, and maltreatment since you’ve been gone? I don’t think so. From the looks of it, Hall Shitter was picked up with the entire grouping of backwards-facing paintings and elevated just a few inches higher onto a desk. Other than that, it seems to be in one piece, apart from just having missed you so darn much while you were away. Now if you’re wondering about the wellbeing of the Brigmore Witch pictured here, yes, that bitch is dead. I was playing High Chaos, so I had very little other option.

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Posted on June 21, 2019

Dr. Alexandria Hypatia’s Apartment shitter!

This apartment is actually really pretty. It’s in a historic building with a back patio, a balcony overlooking a prominent boulevard, and the windows allow for a portion of it to act as a greenhouse. This is the apartment’s clean and tidy shitter. Look how pleasant and lovely it is. When Dr. Hypatia got her shit fucked up by Delilah, she abandoned all this peace, tranquility, and humble opulence for a permanent residence in Addermire Institute, surrounded by gross disease and icky death. Once you help her out (which involves injection of Stop Killing People), she’ll move out of there, get back to being her old self, and start making pretty butterfly collections again.

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Posted on June 17, 2019

Yoshi P Toilet Mount Confirmed

When asked by fans, FFXIV Producer Naoki Yoshida stated his Primal Mount would be “Toilet.”

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Posted on June 17, 2019

Stilton Manor’s Alternate Future Kitchen shitter!

If there’s anything that makes me hang around in a place long after beating the level, it’s the promise of finding a shitter. On my way out of Stilton Manor, I crawled along the convenient shelf-style molding that wraps around the ceiling and looked for special changes. You can’t imagine my excitement when I saw the storage room off the renovated kitchen was now labeled “Restroom.” Excitedly, I did a somersault over the heads of the workmen and slipped through the door to take a look!

In the first slide, we see the storage room as it appears in 1849. Don’t worry, these ladies are just sleeping. I compassionately stashed them in here so I could rummage through their kitchen properly. They’ll be all right.

In the second slide, we see the room is now a shitter in the alternate future of 1852. It was difficult to get before and after pictures here because the room has changed so much, but this room now has two separate stalls and a utility sink.

Appreciation of the new utopia of Stilton Manor must be properly contrasted against the shitter-less Hell that is Jindosh Mansion. And we should all be more like Aramis Stilton (artistic, thoughtful, and hygienic). Jindosh has one personal shitter, and one prison shitter for his Sokolov Holding Cell. But Stilton Manor has so many, I haven’t even posted them all!

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Posted on June 12, 2019

Dr. Nobody’s Sanctum of Misery shitters!

Here’s another slide for our presentation of “Emily Kaldwin Should Not Be Empress.” This bloodfly-riddled apartment in the Dust District is supposed to be a “Doctor’s Office.” I’m sure it was at some point, but a while back it became a portal to Hell. Based on cursory observation, Nature has been reclaiming this building for a lot longer than a few weeks or days.

For those of us who like to keep receipts, here’s an Accounting Book that Dr. Nobody kept of all his snake oil sales. Can’t sleep? Eat some onions! Everyone knows that. Poor Mr. Viteri (the final entry) was a dead man walking after the Doctor’s “treatment,” but isn’t it slightly heartening that this charlatan never actually collected money for his goofery? No? Well, at least Doc is probably dead now, and we can all sleep a little better at night knowing Corvo Attano fumigated this apartment with fire to clear out the bloodflies.

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