Watoga Underground shitters!

The long and rambling chain quest, Thicker Than Water, will take you deep into the bowels of the Watoga Underground where you’ll help Beckett work things out with his estranged brother Frankie. This is the men’s and the women’s rooms found in the Underground. Though basic in appearance, they sit like two sphinx guardians, flanking a hallway that leads down, down, down into the discovery of the terrible truth of what happened to Frankie! Did your naive mind think Frankie got hazed into serving The Claw (a shadowy leader of the raiding band the Blood Eagles)? Get ready for your eyes to pop right out of your skull when you learn that Frankie IS The Claw! How did it all go so wrong? Well, I’ll tell you one thing, it has a lot to do with Frankie’s childhood. Yeesh. I mean, Jesus, dude. When I opened the door to Frankie’s “shrine to my toddler years,” which is of course a time of blissful innocence that each of us remember with remarkable clarity, I discreetly snapped a screenshot and then quickly shut that shit back up.

And I gained a lot from this ordeal. Yeah, Beckett and I bonded tons during this very long quest. We laughed, we cringed, we never spoke of it again.

Driftwood Tavern shitter!

These wooden outhouses are a key component in the Divinity 2: Original Sin quest called Aggressive Takeover. The ghost of the dude who gets murdered in this quest, Liam, tells you outright the name of his killer - It’s some guy named Garvan who is at a tavern in Driftwood. So when you decide, ‘Yeah, it’s my place to deliver the hammer of justice,’ you head to the Driftwood Tavern and somehow convince this man to eat Tainted Meat. When he inevitably gets sick, you slay him out back by the toilets. Really, the meat alone should have killed him, but I don’t make the rules.

Aside from the Tainted Meat, some other things don’t sit quite right about this quest. For instance, Ghost Liam needs “proof” that you killed Garvan. Don’t ghosts normally just know when they’ve been avenged? And I’m not sure how I feel about the toilets being a part of the revenge plot, because who the hell is Liam? I mean, a shitter as a quest object is always awesome, but was Liam some kind of saint? All we really know is he was a tradesperson. And by the way, when you find his dead body, the method by which you commune with his spirit is having an elf in your group eat his leg. That is just so bonkers to me.

We are officially friends!

We are so thrilled and so proud to announce that the World Toilet Organization has given this incredible Certificate of Friendship to Gaming Thrones. A beautiful plaque which I am proud to hang on my wall. The design is in a handsome and stylish toilet bowl blue, and signed by my hero Jack Sim, so I actually have his autograph now.

I would like to take this opportunity to mention that during this time of global awareness around COVID-19 and the coronavirus pandemic, proper sanitation is of paramount importance. The necessity is poignant that all people have access to this basic human right - a safe and clean toilet. And because I know that my Bucket Brigade is as equally passionate about toilets, I am asking you to please celebrate Friendship Day with us by navigating to the World Toilet Organization to make a secure donation of $5. You can donate with PayPal, and there’s even a recurring payment option. For the price of a coffee, we can make a difference.

Thank you for celebrating Friendship Day, July 25, along with me and Jack Sim!