Six Feet Under shitter!

This one is right in the Baldur’s Gate cemetery, simply called “Graveyard”, located in the Lower City north of the Forge of the Nine. Next time you’re exhuming 8 or 9 corpses for quest items and loot, don’t worry about having urgent needs because there’s a shitter nearby, perfect for when you need to put something back into the ground. Though I am wondering what these buckets were for, and why it’s looking like it was under construction for an addition, possibly an awning or carport?

Wilson’s Gate shitters!

An array of various prison shitters available for your incarcerated use in Baldur’s Gate. These are from a place called Flymm Cargo. Loving the ‘bunkbed’ style on the middle cell. With a little ladder leading to the top? Something I don’t really get about Baldur’s Gate prisons is how empty they are. Yeah there are always a freaking skeleton, makes no sense, these must have been sitting empty for over 100 years. Mighty puzzling given the breadth of sheer crime saturating the streets. Pretty much you only meet like one guy in all these catacombs and he looves it here! Even if you offer to break him out, and he praises the fact no one bothers him there.

When the Edibles Kick In shitter!

Alan Wake Episode 1 starts off in a very pastel bathroom with an exposed shitter. You know the fanfic “My Immortal”? This DLC was basically that in video game form. It’s called “Night Springs”, based on Twilight Zone. You play as Rose the Waitress who, in the base game, is kinda airheaded but in the DLC you get to experience what is essentially her poorly-written fanfiction. She’s the world’s greatest waitress, animal sanctuary runner, and fan site admin. You start in the bathroom, leave for the front of the restaurant and do some stuff like collecting pie plates and refilling coffee, then a singing wall fish tells you the main character is in trouble. So you load up a double-barrel shotgun and start blasting the Possessed, who in the DLC are called Haters.”

Submitted by Bucket Brigadier ILikeSocks! Rose encountered some saucer at the truck stop contaminated with liquid acid and just went with it. Big Mouth Billy Bass is her god now but instead of singing “Don’t Be Cruel” by obscure Brooklyn-born R&B singer and songwriter Otis Blackwell, it’s “Mean” by Taylor Swift.

Bare Arm shitter!

From Bucket Brigadier Rockin T, this shitter is out of the Outer Worlds Murder on Eridanos DLC! Hover the image to reveal the shitter that’s hidden under the green vat thing. Tell me, Brigade, does this half-eaten bellhop’s severed arm evoke the LoZ Phoeni, or is it more like the corpse of a forgotten Planeteer croaked mid-thrust of their ring toward the Heavens, perhaps as they attempted to evoke the power of sanitation?

There was a crooked shitter!

From Crooked Man, who had a crooked apartment and within this crooked appartment there was a crooked shitter! From Bucket Brigadier Rockin T, who says: “The black space is part of the game and not just me taking a bad screenshot!” Adorable graphics for a horror game. This shitter looks like it never moved out and lives in pink mama’s basement. No shame, the economy is tough!

Cohabitation Dreamhouse shitters!

Congratulations, kiddo, you survived to mid-adulthood, and here’s your reward! In 2018 you’ve moved in with your girlfriend to this absolute mansion with TWO bathrooms and tons of potted plants. This is the FINAL LEVEL of a whole house that is so fun to unpack and arrange, and the shitters are up to the challenge. The first, smaller bathroom is downstairs, with a sink has an INSANE expression that I love. This bathroom is perfect. No fuss! The second one is upstairs, it is huge, and it marks the first time in your life that you’ve figured out a somewhat-sensible method of organizing the toilet paper.

Independent Adult Ladies shitter!

After you broke up with Darren, took a great big long-jump backwards and boo-hooed an entire year of your life away by moving back in with your MOM, you end up living at this apartment that is only slightly less shitty than when you lived with the Dungeoneers. By the way there was no shitter at your mom’s place, otherwise I would have taken a picture of it. But this level is 2013, when you still have way too much shit. It seems you picked up a few bad habits from your 2007 days. Like a TON of action figures and DVDs.

Especially in the bathroom. So full disclosure, this image is actually from the 2015 level which is the same location as the 2013 level except someone new is living here with you. The shitter itself is very nice. It has that “independent woman in the city” personality. But outside of this, what the fuck. Is this the Brooklyn branch of the Shampoo & Conditioning Library? Yes, I’d like to blow my nose with tissues that were stored on the back of the toilet, I’m going to SCREAM. I don’t know why anyone would waste the precious real estate of that sink counter with all that stuff and there’s just a hundred thousand menstrual products taking up the bottom shelf. Every drawer is packed full of things. There’s definitely better ways to organize this life but hey, can’t argue with a Gold Star. Don’t get me wrong, this game is very fun. But boy oh boy, the muscle I use for judging disorganized, cluttered people got a damn workout playing it.

Heteronormative shitter!

In 2010 you’re living with a total drag who I have named “Darren” who is obsessed with gunmetal gray and has made no room for you in his life. Why did you move in with Darren? Oh, right you got tired of playing Dungeons & Dragons and decided you’d like to play Diminished & Depressed. I hate everything about this bathroom and mostly because of Darren’s stupid stuff. You’re basically brushing your teeth with poop when you leave your toothbrushes out on the sink like this. I thought you morons had college degrees? In fact most of this stuff should not be just out in the open storage like that, including the shaving brush, the ‘clean’ towels, the spare TP, the electric razor, by the way you know you could put a lidded box under the sink with all that stuff and keep it safe? There could even be one for each of you, wouldn’t that be nice? The people have a HUGE closet where these extra towels could go, by the way. But no, Darren’s shoes NEED to be on a shelf otherwise they get their feelings hurt! There is zero reason to be leaving perfume and cologne in a room that has extreme temperature changes. And there’s just too much stuff in general. I don’t get it. I DO NOT GET IT!!! Like again with the naked soap bar. TWO OF THEM!!!! You don’t need that, you don’t need all that shit in the shower. Why does she have FOUR body soaps. You do not need a first aid kit on the shelf in arm’s reach at all times. I bet you CASH that if these people cleaned this room more frequently they would not need that horrible air freshener that is toxic as HELL and a nightmare to recycle. There’s even more stuff in that little drawer! And this is where this shit is supposed to go, look, I got a gold star for arranging it all in this way!

Apartment shitter!

You thought the people you had to share a suite with were pigs? This is a whole new level, in fact this is the 2007 level of Unpacking. This was my least favorite level because of the gross housemates. I lived with people like this once and can definitely say I would never do this again and would not recommend it to anyone. First of all TRUST ME, your housemates ARE using all your shit that you leave out in any area they deem to be “fair use.” The rest of this level is insane. You can almost smell the living room spilling over with cosplay and anime crap and dining area where they just have an eternal Dungeons & Dragons game going for the rest of their lives. No to everything. And in here, it’s just obnoxious. The shampoo bottles on the floor because they’re the jumbo size bigger than the trash can. Do not store your TP rolls and menstrual products on the FLOOR under the SINK, what is wrong with you? I also really do not get this concept of keeping a razor out on an open shelf like first of all that’s germs, second that’s not safe. Oh good thing you have a naked bar of soap on the sink surround like for cleaning your little hands, and all that? It’s not going to get disgusting and absolutely cemented there or anything. Listen roommates, if you have this much shit, keep it in a caddy in your own bedroom. And there was MORE (note the unopened box on the floor). Also, is that just a washer, or just a dryer? It’s not a combo, let me reassure you right now there is no way in hell the landlord of this place is shelling out that kind of cash for people who will probably break it before the lease is up. In Two Thousand and SEVEN.