Posted on December 31, 2024
Androids don’t need a shitter!
Do you remember the fever dream 1980s Canadian children’s show “Today’s Special”? It was supposed about a mannequin that came to life after the department store closed for the night, but it was really about a fast-living club girl named Jodie tripping face mixing her psych meds with hard liquor. This game has a lot in common with that scenario. Welcome to Detroit: Become Human which you can bet your boots is currently on Steam sale since I’m playing it starting now and it’s been out since 20 fuckin 18.
It’s Always Raining in Shitsmear City and I’m on my third Connor model since he keeps getting fucking ended by either getting popped between the eyeballs with a lead slug or throwing his own self off a damn roof. I would never make it as an android because I keep making the wrong choices but it’s SO easy to piss humans off in this hole. On the bright side, we finally know what city Heavy Rain happened in because on top of the fact that it’s just constantly pissing down, all the humans are either pathetic crying girl children or sadistic alcoholic perverts. There are definitely not enough shitters but why would there need to be since the main characters are all talking mannequins?
In this scene, Connor III is trying to find out what happened if the T-1000 became an orthinologist sponsored by Nike. There’s no toilet in the bathroom, and I’m severely dispirited to see this, but rather than emulating what all the mortal mokes in this universe do when they encounter disappointment (which is explicitly to dismember the extremely expensive tech they just take for granted) I’m just going to exercise my freedom of speech and eviscerate it in writing. Even if the androids don’t need a shitter why oh why doesn’t this apartment have one anyway?? Didn’t humans live here before it was converted to a condemned dovecote?