Kings Landing Dungeon shitter!

This classic prison shitter appears in Game of Thrones Season 4, Episode 4: Oathkeeper. Jaime Lannister makes mention of it personally at the very start of the scene with the line, “This isn’t so bad. You’ve got a pot to piss in.” What an honor!

Game of Thrones character pixel art by Charlie_pl.

The Iron Throne, the way George R.R. Martin intended it.

While [Martin] acknowledges that the HBO version has become “iconic,” and is perhaps more realistic, “It’s still not right. It’s not the Iron Throne I see when I’m working on The Winds of Winter. It’s not the Iron Throne I want my readers to see. The way the throne is described in the books… HUGE, hulking, black and twisted, with the steep iron stairs in front, the high seat from which the king looks DOWN on everyone in the court… my throne is a hunched beast looming over the throne room, ugly and asymmetric.”

Sightless Pit shitter!

From the picture, this looks like a pretty nice campsite. But if you were there, you’d know that bucket is frozen to the damn floor. By the way, Falmer drag campers off into the darkness and cut them into pieces just for making a fire here, so I would recommend you proceed without squatting.

Was it The Call of the Wild: Yukon .. or White Fang? Maybe Iron Will (there were so many sled dog movies made in the 90s) in which the older man kvetches about how miserable such conditions are. He observes bitterly, “Watch your piss freeze before it hits the ground.” I wonder if that ever happens in Skyrim?

Understone Keep, Jarl’s Chamber shitter.

Don’t see a bucket, do ya? That’s because part of what makes being Jarl of Markarth so friggin sweet is peeing into a waterfall every morning. Because you can’t look at this and tell me that you wouldn’t. If you don’t know, the waterfall is behind the camera angle. It’s a lovely little private place where a chest of gold is kept. But I think we all know the real gold here.

Hound Pits Pub shitters!

In the words of Nicky Santoro, “Peekaboo, you fucks, you! I see you, mother fucker!” Using Corvo’s special secret vision, I saw Piero “checking the keyhole for structural integrity” while Callista was in the bath. When confronted, he begged me for “discretion” and fled. Yes, I looked, but I had to. I’m investigating the murder of the Empress. This is important. It wouldn’t be in the game unless it was part of the clues. Anyway, it was kind of a yawnfest. Once you see one defeated, plague-starved former-aristocrat scrubbing at the iodine under their fingernails in vain, you’ve seen them all.