This magical nook is the prettiest place to poop in all of Skyrim! From the fanciful dancing of light on the cave walls, to the inventive use of wooden planks! The first Shitter of Skyrim that I ever found, and my favorite of all time.
A responsible camper always cleans up after his campsite.
This dreadful haunt won Best of the Worst in 2014. How would you like to even glance at a place like this, much less have to use it in an emergency? Epidemic pathogens abound in the alleyway behind Dunwall Distillery. If you ever run into someone who doesn’t give a shit about the rat plague, just have them visit this gruesome squat, and I can guarantee you they will never be able to stop giving a shit from that point forward.
Welcome to the Golden Cat, a ‘gentleman’s bathhouse’ in the Distillery District. Now, I know what you’re gonna say, and I just want to go ahead and stop you from bothering to put on a clean shirt. Because this is how the other half shits. The demure, pristine crystalline plague phlegm fairies of the Golden Cat who delivery military-grade handjobs and electrocution fetishes get into character in this amazing Associates-Only boudoir. Note the numerous amenities that are just some of the incentives to working for Madame Prudence, and you even get a private shitter that really just can’t be surpassed. Gotta have a few Piero’s Spiritual Remedies stocked in that third-world closet for when you’re screaming to Heaven for relief from the hangover.
Here’s a great example of the care and detail that goes into Bethesda Easter Eggs. This port-a-potty is on the grounds of the X3 Quarry in Appalachia. From the outside, it looks like any ordinary shmoe, without a story to tell. But crack that baby open and you’ll find ambiance and gifts! Such as a motivational poster, a Mister Fuzzy hard hat, a cat bowl, and an irradiated fizzy drink. Enjoy.
This no-nonsense, military-grade, multi-bucket latrine is for the use of all genders and races of Tamriel, once you hand it off to the Imperials.
So here’s a story from a bit ago.
Jazbay Grapes are said to be super-rare, but they’re actually found in quite an abundance in the hot springs by Eldergleam Sanctuary. So I was just wandering around picking them, when I came upon three naked hunters lounging in the hot springs. You may be familiar with them. Their clothes are folded on the ground alongside the rest of their things.
As I stood around just looking at them, the woman says, “Yes?” I click on her and she asks, “What do you want?”, very rudely. The dude that’s there, I click on him too. And he goes “Can I help you?” I thought, these asses can’t even offer me some West Weald Vintage, or whatever they’re sipping on, at this love party?
So I thought, fuck these guys. I decided to steal their clothes and I grabbed all their clothes in one swipe and ran as fast as I could far away and hid. They followed for a short bit, but soon returned to their spawn point. I snuck back and they were PISSED! They were running all over the place, naked, fists up in fighting stance. Haha, be naked forever. And while I was sitting there cracking up, in the bushes hidden, watching them run around hostile and looking for me …
AW YEAH!! My Sneak improved, causing me to Level Up. Thanks, Naked Hunters!
And when I went back over 2 real-life months later to see if they were still there. They were still there, still naked, and still angry as shit.
