Tanagra Town shitters!

Stumble through the mucky mire of Appalachia long enough and you’ll come across Tanagra Town - a beanstalk-like growth protruding from the ground due to a malfunction of the GECK in Vault 94. A floating island of earth and rock rests at the top, with bits of broken houses. If you climb the beanstalk, these are the treasures which await you! Two gorgeous shitters! Other wonderful things about Tanagra Town: No gnomes, a unique basketball, and if you leap off the top from the tire swing, you won’t die, you will only break both your legs. Fantastic.

Hillfolk Hotdogs shitter!

Another mysterious magnetic fridge poem left in a shitter, this time at Hillfolk Hotdogs. This one… a little less cohesive than the first. Don’t strain yourself too hard trying to find meaning in these verses. It’s clear that near the end, the author ran out of the good magnets.

Nihilist Prose shitter!

I found this ART while exploring the wilderness. This is some deep shit right here. The plaintiff husk of a West Virginian who just couldn’t make it to the shelter of this port-a-john before the blast guards the door to this stall. An Untitled Poem of dank, nihilist prose in a beatnik, magnetic-fridge-poetry format is the only remaining witness to future shits. Aces Deuces.

Cidhna Mine shitter!

This is the personal bucket of Madanach, The King in Rags, who is of course the dickass who “leads” the Forsworn Rebellion from his hidey hole in the Cidhna Mine prison. Quite the luxury accommodations afforded to Madanach. Forsworn Royalty seems to get the only shitter in the whole prison.

Blue Castle, Pelagius Wing shitter!

Camp out in this haunted nook with all the comforts of home. Bedroll, lantern (keeps the ghosties at bay), convenient shitter, mead on tap, and even a little cleaning supplies in case you get bored of that book and wish to play Cinderella.

Palace of the Kings, Windhelm shitters!

This right here is why Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak is a vinegar-based feminine wash. The first photo is where Jorleif sleeps. No, really. Ulfric’s oldest friend, who he sorta just allows to hang around the throne room and pipe in with advice now and then, sleeps on the floor and shits in a corner of the kitchens.

Meanwhile (middle picture) you have rooms on rooms on rooms in the Palace of the Kings that are unoccupied. Some have fires going in them. Some don’t. Why bother heating the parts of your castle that will never be used? It’s not like you have a family or anything, Ulfric Foreveralonecloak. Fucking asshole! You’re telling me Jorleif can’t sleep in this bed here? Shit in this chamber pot, by the warmth of a fire?

And where does Papa Bear Stormcloak shit? Well, I’m not fully and 100% sure, but this is where he sleeps, and the only vessel in the room is a silver bowl. Yeah I’m pretty sure that Ulfric shits in a silver bowl. Dandy ponce.