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wilson
Posted on March 18, 2019
Clockwork Mansion Master Bedroom shitter!
Towering high above the rat-infested streets of Dunwall is the Clockwork Mansion of Kirin Jindosh! It has four floors and two bathrooms. Fuck you I guess if you work here.
If you want to complete the game without ever being seen, you’ll want to traverse the entire map of the Clockwork Mansion without using any floor-shifting levers even once. This is possible if you smash the skylight in his entryway with a bottle and climb around in the ceilings above all the moving parts. However, if you want to take a picture of Kirin Jindosh’s private shitter, you’ll need to move one or two levers.
Jindosh is a weird guy, and not because he spends his life disguising his torture-lab as a quirky, upper-class amusement park. His washroom is way bigger than most entire apartments in Dunwall, and it looks like he mixes his relaxations with his work because there’s a microscope on the table near his bathtub. Maybe he likes to look at his toenail lint under magnification. Freak.
The washroom, which doesn’t even have a chamberpot, let alone a toilet, is in a fussy configuration to the bedroom, which houses the toilet in a little closet. The shitter itself has terrible lighting and is rather unremarkable. Frankly, Jindosh, I’m disappointed in you! To access either one, you’d have to be standing on the other side and use a lever. That part might not so much weird as it is overly complicated, but he has peppered the walls of his washroom and his shitter with portraits of nogoodniks and criminals (including Delilah, Luca Abele and Aramis Stilton), and that part is very weird!
Posted on March 18, 2019
Clockwork Mansion Assessment Chamber shitter!
The second shitter in the Clockwork Mansion is located in the basement, within the shifting maze that imprisons Anton Sokolov. In the first Dishonored, Sokolov is a jackass who gets happy watching rats cannibalize each other. But in Dishonored II, he’s portrayed as a grandfatherly figure to Emily Kaldwin. Anyway, here’s his prison shitter.
Does it say something ‘nice’ about Kirin Jindosh that he provides a shriveled ancient like Sokolov with a satisfactory shitter like this one? Not necessarily; it just implies Jindosh is hoping to keep Sokolov locked up for a very, very long time.
Posted on March 17, 2019
Mirell’s Basement shitter!
Mirell Hoofbeat lives at a backwater settlement on The Farmers’ Coast. He has a barbaric iron-barred cell in his basement where he keeps his daughter, Bea, who is sick with worms. See, to keep Bea from biting people and burning houses, Mirell has to keep her locked in the basement. Yes, worms are to blame for this!
Well, it ain’t worms, it’s the Red Madness, but anyone with a brain could see that. I shouldn’t be too harsh on Mirell. He’s likely illiterate, has a maximum of nine teeth, and no birth certificate.
When you explain it to Mirell, carefully, and using very small words, he’ll give you a family heirloom in exchange for advice on how to put her down like a sick horse. When you come back in a few days, Mirell claims he did it with a poison tea, but I doubt that. Look at how this cell is all covered in blood! Are you just going to leave it like this, you filthy pig? At least he had the basic humanity to offer Bea a shitter while she was in captivity.
Enderal: The Forgotten Stories is a mod for Skyrim which is takes place on a landmass entirely separate from Tamriel. It is available for free on Steam.
Posted on March 16, 2019
“And now I have slapped a king. Did my hand fall from my wrist?”
– Tyrion Lannister
Posted on March 15, 2019
Pi Kappa Mu shitters!
Behold a trashed party house at Fraternity Row in Morgantown. I can’t say they didn’t have their priorities straight when they plunked a shitter down directly on the front sidewalk.
The other shitter is in the frat house basement. I’ve known people who live like this, and it’s impossible to interact with them. Since all the people from this frat house are skeletons, it’s almost the same experience, except less talking. Note the triangular anatomy chart on the shower wall. Get a shitty education with your brain damage!