D&D Tavern Shitter!

From our Bucket Brigadier of the Year 2021, Emrysin, here are two gendered toilet banks in an actual Dungeons and Dragons tavern map. This is a rare Birdseye View shitter. Says Emrysin: “That’s the tavern we were staying at while investigating a series of murders tied to un underworld crime syndicate. The well in the center of the room goes down into the sketchy place. When we entered the tavern the first time, some slimes and a troll came out of the hole. The tavern is known for the hole in the middle of it, it’s named after it, if I remember correctly.”

How do the toilets factor into the dice rolling? If you go in there and roll a 2, is that a good thing? According to Emrysin, “A giga-slime creature did come out of the toilet, that we had to fight too. It was all very questionable.”

Welcome, welcome! To the thrilling, winding, epic adventure saga of Fatal Fortress!, an adorable tabletop game that you can find in Prey. The GM, Abigail Foy, leaves treasure maps for each of her friends, who correspond to these character sheets. Featuring such heroes as Hordinbaffle Flagdasterous, with his Staff of Flowers. He seems to take a lot of damage, and have a lot of useless things in his inventory. I think that truly, we can all learn something about ourselves through the mirror of these metaphors. The Bard looks to be doing well-off. That’s what I like to see.

A couple months ago, a buddy of mine went to a local D&D event. The event was large enough that it had some corporate sponsors, including Comcast who provided internet service for the event to promote its Xfinity product. The marketing team from Comcast decided that one of the best way to spread the word at the event was to pass out free swag in the form of some custom d20 with “Xfinity” on them. Of course ad space is somewhat limited on a d20 (what with all those pesky numbers and such) so where to put it?

Well it wasn’t on the 20…it was on the opposite side.

Now to be fair, I can imagine somebody on the marketing team thought, “Hey, we’re ##1! That’s the best right?” But I just can’t help appreciating the humor of seeing “Xfinity” every time someone rolls a critical fail.