In the words of Nicky Santoro, “Peekaboo, you fucks, you! I see you, mother fucker!” Using Corvo’s special secret vision, I saw Piero “checking the keyhole for structural integrity” while Callista was in the bath. When confronted, he begged me for “discretion” and fled. Yes, I looked, but I had to. I’m investigating the murder of the Empress. This is important. It wouldn’t be in the game unless it was part of the clues. Anyway, it was kind of a yawnfest. Once you see one defeated, plague-starved former-aristocrat scrubbing at the iodine under their fingernails in vain, you’ve seen them all.
Stumble through the mucky mire of Appalachia long enough and you’ll come across Tanagra Town - a beanstalk-like growth protruding from the ground due to a malfunction of the GECK in Vault 94. A floating island of earth and rock rests at the top, with bits of broken houses. If you climb the beanstalk, these are the treasures which await you! Two gorgeous shitters! Other wonderful things about Tanagra Town: No gnomes, a unique basketball, and if you leap off the top from the tire swing, you won’t die, you will only break both your legs. Fantastic.
Another mysterious magnetic fridge poem left in a shitter, this time at Hillfolk Hotdogs. This one… a little less cohesive than the first. Don’t strain yourself too hard trying to find meaning in these verses. It’s clear that near the end, the author ran out of the good magnets.
I found this ART while exploring the wilderness. This is some deep shit right here. The plaintiff husk of a West Virginian who just couldn’t make it to the shelter of this port-a-john before the blast guards the door to this stall. An Untitled Poem of dank, nihilist prose in a beatnik, magnetic-fridge-poetry format is the only remaining witness to future shits. Aces Deuces.
This is the personal bucket of Madanach, The King in Rags, who is of course the dickass who “leads” the Forsworn Rebellion from his hidey hole in the Cidhna Mine prison. Quite the luxury accommodations afforded to Madanach. Forsworn Royalty seems to get the only shitter in the whole prison.
Camp out in this haunted nook with all the comforts of home. Bedroll, lantern (keeps the ghosties at bay), convenient shitter, mead on tap, and even a little cleaning supplies in case you get bored of that book and wish to play Cinderella.