Item: Pink Jeans of the Homing Jump Kick; Once per hour the wearer can select a target and leap into a jump kick and will not land until they connect the kick to the target (gliding through the air at the standard height for such a kick, traveling at their max running speed) or after the hour ends.
Another ‘amusement park’ in Columbia, Soldier’s Field features a baffling puzzle that only the most discerning simpleton could ever solve.
In the first photo, we see the Men’s Room (you can tell it’s a Men’s Room because it has a dead dude in it) with a crass graffito scrawled across the urinal station. Elizabeth suggests you start looking for clues. Luckily for you, a huge clue to what the mysterious message says can be found in the hand of the corpse on the floor.
Follow the clue to discover a secret door in a location that is pretty much shouting “This right here is a secret door.” It’s in the empty stall in the adjacent Women’s Room. Sleuthy!
These shitters are brought to you by Bucket Brigadier Minjianaxx! The bathrooms at this entertainment resort are segregated, with obnoxious, rude signs indicating where it is legal or illegal to shit. The nerve of this place. You can’t tell me where to squat.
First we see the “Whites Only” restroom, and if you live in the sky city of Columbia, there is definitely something in the water making you stupid if you saw this and never thought it was bullshit. Velvet drapes? Gross!! The toilet seats don’t even have real lids on them. Every time you flush, there’s a fine mist coating these curtains, and then you’re touching them! The fussy granite urinals positively scream “You’re trying too hard, Prophet.” Additionally, somebody left food in this purse on the floor. Would you eat a shitter apple?
Apart from this, we also have the “Colored/Irish” restroom, which is, well, different, by comparison. The Prophet obviously didn’t shell out the big bucks for contractors on these sinks. Though I have to say, I do not think what is happening with that one sink is actually possible. Princess Comstock will carry on about how it smells in here, right in front of this guy who is just doing his best with what he has to work with. He’s trying so hard, so back off, Elizabeth. Lastly, the “urinal station” is just a trough in the floor. This design element is quite popular in some punk rock clubs in Los Angeles, so maybe they’re onto something.
Right away when you start Duke Nukem Forever you find yourself in this setting, which really lays the foundation for what you can expect out of the game, in the way of humor and maturity. Needless to say, I felt electrified with a feverish enthusiasm to explore this complex storyline and multifaceted main character after zoning in to a bathroom first thing. These shitters are 100% interactive, a somewhat rare quality in a game shitter.
In the very next room, you’ll find this marker board which is also interactive. I was invited to use it to modify our plans as necessary, so I drew a cartoon dick. I was sure this was what they were after, and I did get praise from my friend here, but I still have a feeling that Duke is underappreciated as an artist.
