Posted on June 11, 2024
When the Edibles Kick In shitter!
“Alan Wake Episode 1 starts off in a very pastel bathroom with an exposed shitter. You know the fanfic “My Immortal”? This DLC was basically that in video game form. It’s called “Night Springs”, based on Twilight Zone. You play as Rose the Waitress who, in the base game, is kinda airheaded but in the DLC you get to experience what is essentially her poorly-written fanfiction. She’s the world’s greatest waitress, animal sanctuary runner, and fan site admin. You start in the bathroom, leave for the front of the restaurant and do some stuff like collecting pie plates and refilling coffee, then a singing wall fish tells you the main character is in trouble. So you load up a double-barrel shotgun and start blasting the Possessed, who in the DLC are called Haters.”
Submitted by Bucket Brigadier ILikeSocks! Rose encountered some saucer at the truck stop contaminated with liquid acid and just went with it. Big Mouth Billy Bass is her god now but instead of singing “Don’t Be Cruel” by obscure Brooklyn-born R&B singer and songwriter Otis Blackwell, it’s “Mean” by Taylor Swift.