Posted on January 24, 2020
Fancy a spot of tea with the Admiral, love?
I’m guessing you’re like me, and when you stole that tugboat to infiltrate the Baron’s compound, you didn’t know you’d be entering the last nuke code into the Admiral’s insanity launch sequence. But that’s what happened. The Admiral’s been through some shit and this is how he’s managed to cope: ‘Not well.’ Since the tugboat incident, he’s been hiding out in the swamp. You can visit him at his quaint cottage home (a loft in a rotting barn), where he entertains corpses and argues with himself. Laugh a little, cry a little with Admiral Batshit and try to resist the enviable hospitality of his Swamp Bungalow. He offers you tea made from local wildcrafted mushrooms (yeah, I’m not drinking this), and a peace pipe stuffed with some herbs he swears will silence the demons (and I’m not smoking that). If you don’t much fancy reminiscing about the glory days, you can try guessing how many partial card decks he collected to make that tablecloth, or if you’re feeling really adventurous/bored/compassionate, pry that guitar from his pal’s dead claws and sing Admiral Batshit a lullaby. Once he’s asleep, snag a postcard from the wall before gtfo of there.