Posted on January 5, 2023
The Flat Shitter!
No, not a flat shitter, a Flat shitter, like another word for apartment.
Stray is a platforming game with vapors of Twilight Princess and killer robotic tardigrades which detract from the pleasant experience. You play an orange tabby (originally a black cat) whose carefree frolicking amid flowers, butterflies, and a loving family is pointlessly derailed. Your vastly superior life takes a sharp left into a trashed, abandoned metropolis. Immediately after tumbling into a pit of broken glass and crushed cans (and taking internal damage, probably), you become a personal detective and solve problems for SELFISH ELECTRONIC STRANGERS! Bullshit, I say. Let me just drink from crystal-clear rain puddles and nap on wildflower meadows! What the fuck!
This apartment is the first real safe place you find and as soon as you enter it you knock shit off a table. The safe space aspect of this location is denoted by the presence of a shitter, although I don’t much like that draft bearing down from the window like that. The decor is awful but you don’t even get to stay here very long to take it all in because there’s already some jerk named B-12 desperately flashing lights in your face demanding your help. And then he just puts a harness on you and rides you around the city, very Midna-like. Luckily for B-12, you’re the world’s smartest pussy because you not only solve puzzles but you can read, count, and play basketball. I guess your motivation is to get back to your family, but B-12 has his own agenda and basically your whole purpose now is to solve that mystery for him.
Anyway, I only bought this game because the probability for shitters seemed high and look, there’s one right here. So I guess I’m the smart pussy who landed on her feet this time.