Behold. Nestled within the craggy slope behind Larry’s Toxic Meat ‘n Go is a winding, splintery staircase leading to HEAVEN!!!! The crown jewel of this abandoned restaurant-turned-snallygaster-den is a loot-encrusted treasure chest that happens to also be a shitter.
It explains itself.
But in case you wanted some lore on the subject, this is a two-story treehouse with many buildings spanning multiple trees. There are two doorless, bucketless, flooded port-a-potties standing erect in the swamp below, but you couldn’t use them, obviously, since the waters are teeming with anglers, giant glowing radtoads and various waterborne diseases. Thus, the durable janitor-green sentinel we see here. I like that they reinforced the back of it with boards. That’s totally not just a result of the designer half clipping the shitter into the wooden barricade.
This tower facility seems to have been built for a high volume of prisoners, as the cells are quite roomy and there are numerous skeletons littered about. As usual, seems the only things to have really survived the storm and ensuing flood that killed everyone in the prison are… (slow clap) the shitters.
I’m getting mixed signals on morale among prisoners during their final days. Top photo, two shitters parked close together implies these prisoners may have been the ones who plotted a foray into the drain culvert (they left a NOTE!). The bottom pic sadly illustrates the far-reaching cost of The Silent Treatment. Seems someone wasn’t in on the escape plan (see ghost).
The following shitters were submitted by Bucket Brigadier imsopopfly!
Sunken Skull Barrow: I had begun to fear that you would find no more shitters in Skyrim, when I got a bright idea. Why not explore modded content? I have been exploring Falskaar of late in search of shitters to show you. This search has not been fruitless. Behold the first of the shitters I have found. This one is located in Sunken Skull Barrow. Simple, but functional! Also warm, just look how close it is to that nice fire. There’s even reading material! The local necromancers are lucky to have a shitter like this.
Vulkrund Keep: This is Falskaar correspondent imsopopfly reporting live from Volkrund Keep, where I have found a DOUBLE SHITTER. No illusions of privacy here, folks. May offend the sensibilities of the more squeamish among us. Then again, you can’t exactly expect sensibility when the place is run by some crazy necromancer trying to reshape the world with the power of the Daedric lord Vaermina. Honestly this double shitter is the least trippy thing in the entire keep, and a fine place to do your business when you consider the alternative.
Stoneridge Watch: The next shitter from Stoneridge Watch is rather bare-bones, but you can’t honestly expect more in a cell. The folks the bandits here keep prisoner should probably just count themselves lucky that they don’t have to use the floor instead.
These are gems! Thank you, friend! I’m particularly fond of prison shitters. It’s like your only companion sometimes in a jail cell. That bucket is Wilson.
The Orcs of Narzulbur Stronghold show us the two extremes of indoor bucketing, each at opposite ends of the longhouse. One is clean and private, the other is neither.
Septimus Signus, whacky devotee of Hermaeus Mora, lives in a frozen berth just north of the College of Winterhold. Here he has minimal creature comforts, such as an enormous Dwemer puzzle cube, to keep him company. As an old codger, Septimus isn’t going outside to poop in the snow. It’s a constant blizzard out there! So he has this bucket. I believe it’s upside-down as a tribute to how cwazy Septimus has gotten over the decades. I imagine him putting the ewer on top and saying, “Lovely!” Anyway I’d probably store it upside-down too. In that miniature cavern, it may help stifle the stink.
