Winner! of the prestigious 2015 Brown Ribbon!

Sunshine Tidings Co-op shitters!

The winner of the coveted Brown Ribbon of the Year award in 2015 was this REALLY nice wooden outhouse at Sunshine Tidings Co-op. As you can see, this shitter is top-notch, with potential for a bright future. The elevated nature of this stall lends itself to superior protection against pests such as radroachs and molerats while you’re having a moment alone.

There is another notable shitter on the property that I have photographed and documented here, and which is a terrible sty. The metal shack features some splintery boards perched atop cinder blocks, and an accompanying rusted metal bucket. Creative, but a definite no-go. And are settlers expected to bathe here? My companion, Preston Garvey, obviously blurted out this non sequitur before he took a peek inside.

Commonwealth Shitter, “Flamingo with Dude.”

Alternate Title: “Are you actually staring me down? You, who gives hard drugs to old ladies, and body armor to dogs with the same hand?”

Bloodskal Barrow shitters!

Submitted by Bucket Brigadier futilexistance! These Raiders know what’s what at Bloodskal Barrow. They moved in to this decrepit structure, and made it home. All they need is some dream catchers, and possibly a railing on the narrow, incredibly dangerous wooden catwalk that wraps around the tower.

They also made efficient use of this ancient burial chamber, complete with kitchen, mini library, bunk quarters and ample lookouts. In addition, as soon as you enter, there’s a bonfire piled high with Draugr. A simple solution to Zombies, and also makes for lazy firewood!

Fort Greenwall shitters!

I went to Fort Greenwall at level 7, when it was occupied by Bandits. I ended up running away with my arms over my head shouting, “I just want to photograph your shitter!” I sort of forgot about that place, and today, at level 68 I saw it in the distance and thought, “Today is the day where I witness where y’all do Number 2.”

Since the Imperials are in charge now, I walked right up to the gate and said, “Excuse me, but do you have a public restroom?” Right this way, they replied.

Behold! I know what you’re thinking. That looks an awful lot like Fort Dunstad’s shitter! But what you’re witnessing is the fine and exacting standards of the milk-drinking Imperial military. Notice the Captain’s Quarters has its own chamber pot. You don’t expect the Captain to shit with all the petty officers? If I were this Captain, I would be less interested in the commode situation, and a little more concerned by the sleeping situation. If this doesn’t remind you of some #SochiProblems. That can’t be comfortable. I dare you to sort of casually remark to that last guy, “Yo nice crib dog. Dog. Nice crib.” There’d be a FIGHT.

Redwater Den & Redwater Spring shitters!

As you meander along the cavern, as one of the only coherent sentient beings in Redwater Den, you’ll find this clean, well-maintained, relatively-private alcove for paying customers only. If there’s one thing these dope pushers know how to do, it’s making you as comfortable as possible during the Skooma shakes.

Redwater Spring shitter, which is separate from the veritable cattle stalls in Redwater Den. As opposed to the first location, this one is for the Vampires to use. It’s the Executive Bathroom.

North Cutthroat Camp shitter!

They named their camp Cutthroat Camp so you’d know they mean business, but these (deceased) Raiders have a sense of decency. The privacy curtain that enshrouds the commode at this once-proud outpost provides courtesy toward visitors, which is more than I can say for some of these other outhouses. I’m looking at you, Beckwith Farm shitter.

PS There’s a terrifying monkey playing cymbals on this toilet. I don’t think it actually is a booby trap but I couldn’t say for sure because instinct took over and I blew its head off before it had a chance.