This is a special gift from Delvin Mallory, installed for you himself with a designer’s touch. The built-in stone ledge for your toiletries doubles as a cubbyhole for the bucket. Really fancy.
In his Museum of the Lame and Boring, Calixto Corrium has what we might call a “dummy shitter” that this serial killer wants you to THINK is where he craps. Think again. In the bottom photo, which shows the interior of the hidden room at Hjerim, we see the real deal. Calixto dismembers his victims here, also drinks wine and eats friggen cheese and crackers here, and yes shits here too. Nice chamber pot, you filthy misogynist.
You might think, on first glance, that being in the Enclave is a pretty sweet hookup. I mean, check out those bathrooms. Nice industrial design theme going on here. But then, you look closer and get the fright of your life from some Damaged Garden Gnomes.
The first stall door opens to reveal a Gnome wielding a deathclaw hand and pressing a damn flashlight to his face. Next, some dude left a nasty log in one bowl, and another guy prefers to use a bathroom for an office.
Last two pics you see a Teddy who is going to lose his fucking life if he doesn’t play the right moves. Rollover that to see Snidely Gnomelash that got blasted in the face by me before I ran away with his captives. Look at those picket signs! Those are from the Chryslus building!
Tiptoe into this busted throneroom to take a piss while the Supermutants are preoccupied, and you’ll see a true mindfuck. That caution cone on the left of the room really needs to be in front of these two tricksters hiding in the stalls, holding signs that beg you to take them home. Do not pick up and cuddle a Shitter Gnome from Murdertown! Tell me this, Gnomes, if you’re so helpless on your own, how did you make those signs? I checked, but there really are no land mines or rigged shotguns or anything here. Since all Garden Gnomes carry a switchblade, don’t tell them where you live!!
The Fallout 3 Presidential Metro Train is actually a hat worn by an NPC hidden under the tracks who runs around at high speeds during the travel cut scene.
Allistair Tenpenny is a milk drinker with the voice of Herbert the Pervert, and skid marks on the bottom of his bathtub.
Also featured here is the Tenpenny Tower Men’s Room! This could well be the nicest public restroom in all of Washington DC in the year 2277. Electricity, working stall doors, urinals for tall and small, hand dryers, and that flooring. This is the way of life that we fight to protect daily on post-Government, post-Civilization, post-Hope Planet Earth. A posh locale where we may rest our haunches, and take a luxurious dump before succumbing to Radiation Sickness.
This is where Three Dog shits, Awrooo!! Let’s take inventory, shall we? First Aid Kit in case he gets a splinter stroking his ego. Radio so he can hear himself while he poops. And no mirror. He doesn’t have to see his beautiful face to know it’s there.
What the shit? I am, frankly, so disgusted by this blatant rip-off of Sunnytop Station Shitter that I cannot even remember where in the Appalachian wasteland it was. You’re not tempting me with those spices, try as you might. I am loyal to Sunnytop.
Four gnomes are standing in line facing the same direction. They are all wearing hats, but know not the color of their own. The first gnome is blind and does not see the colors of the other hats. The second gnome is able to see the hats of the two gnomes in front of him. The third only sees the hat of the fourth, and the fourth does not see any hat at all.
The gnomes would like to know the colors of the hats they are all wearing without checking their own. So instead of figuring out this logic puzzle, they went to the Red Rocket Megastop and asked the Gnome Wizard, who said something like, “We gnomes are evil, riddle-telling gremlins that forebode tragedy! Beware! Go forth now and spread true fear! Yeeehehehehehhe!”
Behold. Nestled within the craggy slope behind Larry’s Toxic Meat ‘n Go is a winding, splintery staircase leading to HEAVEN!!!! The crown jewel of this abandoned restaurant-turned-snallygaster-den is a loot-encrusted treasure chest that happens to also be a shitter.