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Posted on June 17, 2019

Stilton Manor’s Alternate Future Kitchen shitter!

If there’s anything that makes me hang around in a place long after beating the level, it’s the promise of finding a shitter. On my way out of Stilton Manor, I crawled along the convenient shelf-style molding that wraps around the ceiling and looked for special changes. You can’t imagine my excitement when I saw the storage room off the renovated kitchen was now labeled “Restroom.” Excitedly, I did a somersault over the heads of the workmen and slipped through the door to take a look!

In the first slide, we see the storage room as it appears in 1849. Don’t worry, these ladies are just sleeping. I compassionately stashed them in here so I could rummage through their kitchen properly. They’ll be all right.

In the second slide, we see the room is now a shitter in the alternate future of 1852. It was difficult to get before and after pictures here because the room has changed so much, but this room now has two separate stalls and a utility sink.

Appreciation of the new utopia of Stilton Manor must be properly contrasted against the shitter-less Hell that is Jindosh Mansion. And we should all be more like Aramis Stilton (artistic, thoughtful, and hygienic). Jindosh has one personal shitter, and one prison shitter for his Sokolov Holding Cell. But Stilton Manor has so many, I haven’t even posted them all!

dishonored
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Posted on June 12, 2019

Dr. Nobody’s Sanctum of Misery shitters!

Here’s another slide for our presentation of “Emily Kaldwin Should Not Be Empress.” This bloodfly-riddled apartment in the Dust District is supposed to be a “Doctor’s Office.” I’m sure it was at some point, but a while back it became a portal to Hell. Based on cursory observation, Nature has been reclaiming this building for a lot longer than a few weeks or days.

For those of us who like to keep receipts, here’s an Accounting Book that Dr. Nobody kept of all his snake oil sales. Can’t sleep? Eat some onions! Everyone knows that. Poor Mr. Viteri (the final entry) was a dead man walking after the Doctor’s “treatment,” but isn’t it slightly heartening that this charlatan never actually collected money for his goofery? No? Well, at least Doc is probably dead now, and we can all sleep a little better at night knowing Corvo Attano fumigated this apartment with fire to clear out the bloodflies.

dishonored
shitter

Posted on June 9, 2019

Brandywine Drop Overlook Outhouse!

Bucket Brigadier Casper submitted this pastoral cliffside shitter! It’s empty. You don’t get a door, but it’s positioned facing away from a fenced cliff’s edge, so at least you’ll see if a bear is coming right at you. Do you think the fear element is a help, or a hindrance to use of this facility?

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bucket brigade

Posted on June 8, 2019

Valentine Jail Cell Shittoon!

This Red Dead Redemption 2 shitter was submitted by Bucket Brigadier Casper, who provides the following commentary: “Even amidst the dangerous West in the year 1899, prisoners were looked after better than some of the ranchers. This one in particular I can only assume sat a bandit leader for his last.. you know.”

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bucket brigade

Posted on June 7, 2019

Aramis Stilton’s Chamber Pot from 1852!

Somebody at Arkane Studios loves me! Whoever had enough wherewithal to consider a shitter for Aramis Stilton’s “holding cell” in the fucked version of 1852 is an asset to the company and deserves a promotion to team lead immediately.

But let’s talk about the actual viability of this shitter. While I fully understand that video games are not intended to mirror, but merely mimic and mock, reality, I could not help but feel my suspension of disbelief stretched a bit too far when it came to Aramis Stilton’s chamber pot - the one imprisoned with him at the start of the “A Crack in the Slab” mission. We know Duke Abele is paying The Howlers to bring food and candles and stuff for Stilton while he’s locked up in here. The entrance to his room has restricted access, and has been barricaded with furniture. There’s not enough space under the barricade to pass anything more than a plate of food in and out of the room. So, how does he empty this chamber pot? It’s clean, so we know somebody is changing it out for him when they visit. The windows in this room don’t open, so you’d think it would present a problem, since he has been kept in here for three years.

Ultimately, whatever incomprehensible human rights quandary this setup presented is resolved when you help Stilton out by knocking him the fuck out, because multiple additional or renovated shitters appear around Stilton Manor in the fabulously altered 1852 at the end of the mission.

dishonored
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Posted on June 3, 2019

Addermire Recuperation shitter!

Y’all ready to recuperate? Head to the Addermire Institute of Infectious Diseases, where this bunk is reserved just for you and your recuperation. These are the amenities that await you here: A minibar filled with ether and highly flammable liquor! Loads of cheery sunlight just streaming through the windows! The ambient sounds of bloodflies nesting in the walls! Natural grass flooring? And a chamber pot that is mostly yours, mere inches from your pillow. Plus, the Good Doctor’s office is right next door, so just give a yelp if you need anything at all. If this place yelps anything, it is certainly “recuperation”! I can feel myself already recuperating just looking at this.

dishonored
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Posted on June 1, 2019

Hamilton Bedchamber shitter!

Addermire Institute’s one and only janitor, Joe Hamilton, lives in a little apartment at the tippy top of the building’s central stairway. Janitor? That has to be a joke, right? While I can believe someone is paying him to hold the title of janitor, there’s no way he’s doing any work there. The place is too far gone - too “steeped in raw filth” - to be receiving any scheduled cleaning. Joe keeps a huge poster of Corvo Attano (hey, that’s me!) pinned to his vision board. He is so frightened of the Crown Killer that he barricades his room with the furniture you see here, as well as a tripwire just outside the door. The job sucks, and he’s under a lot of stress, which might explain his use of chamber pots as receptacles for HP potions.

dishonored
shitter

Posted on June 1, 2019

Kirin Jindosh’s Certificate of Failure!

Lookie what I found! Hidden away in a closet, alongside a bunch of gross “laboratory reagents”, Kirin Jindosh keeps some Revenge Fuel framed and under glass. This Decree of Shame, and dare we say Dishonor?, is an official proclamation stating Dunwall is not here for your messy, sinful ways! Even the Electromagnetism Council, who cosigned this, doesn’t want to be seen with Kirin Jindosh.

dishonored

Posted on May 29, 2019

Mindy Blanchard’s Apartment shitter!

Mindy is a tattoo artist, originally from Morley, who graces Wanted posters throughout Karnaca. This is the shitter in Mindy’s apartment! Note how she has changed out the traditional porcelain chamber pot with a fruit bowl. I love Mindy’s overall gritty aesthetic. Improvisation is both a survival skill, and a design element in the era of the Bloodfly Plague!

dishonored
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Posted on May 25, 2019

Outsider Shrine Shitter!

On your way to Jindosh Mansion, climb over a balcony to find this shitter with a view of a dark-sided shrine to the Outsider. Spooky! It looks to me, based on the splash pattern of the debris, that the bathroom was broken into from the side of the shrine. Priorities.

dishonored
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