Posted on January 23, 2023
First Class Cabin shitter!
Submitted by bucket brigadier Rockin T this is the first-class cabin shitter from Zero Escape: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors! In this moment, we are peering through a crystal ball to reveal The Prophecy! Rockin T explains: “You’re in the Nevada Test Facility, which is studying morphogenetic fields, and is designed to look like the Titanic. Because one of the test facilities is on the sister ship of the Titanic, the Gigantic, which is a replica of the Titanic, and the testing facilities must be identical, the Nevada Test Site ALSO looks like the Titanic. They’re trying to check if human fear is powerful enough to transmit thoughts to another. The idea is one group solves puzzles and transmits the solutions to the other group out of fear for their lives since they’ll die if they don’t solve the puzzles and escape in under 9 hours.”
There’s always a showy, trifling kerfuffle around the ideal configuration by which the toilet paper should unroll, while far less emphasis placed on lowering the lid of the toilet seat so yucky bacterial water doesn’t spray out when you flush the thing. Just do it. Anyway, this backstory is all rather rich if not convoluted and it sounds like the logic for this experiment was birthed from the musings of a 1930s laudanum reverie. But wait, there’s more: “That was in the past, however, because this is a second test, designed to allow Junpei to transmit his thoughts back in time to save his childhood friend Akane, who is CURRENTLY stuck on the Gigantic, but like 10 years ago. She exists in both time periods and essentially remembers the future, so she creates the future in order to allow it to happen. This toilet is in one of the cabins that Junpei must try to escape. Multiple times in the game he finds important items for escaping either in or around the toilet! But he does not actually attempt to flush himself down it.”
Stress can make you really sit up straight so it’s really no surprise that we see this shitter being fastidiously clean as a crutch. What does this shitter gain from being an unpaid time-traveling escape-trinket emissary? Except personal GLORY? Well when the job MUST be done right, trust a shitter. It behooves us as the members of the Maritime Toilet Club to decorate this shitter with the 1912 George V Mercantile Marine War PNG (for services to the timeline while at Sea), which you may gaze upon by mousing over the image above (as always).
Fun Fact: “The Gigantic was invented for the game, but the Titanic DID have sister ships. The Britannic sank in the Aegean Sea on November 21, 1916, killing 30 people. More than 1000 others needed to be rescued. So BOTH the Titanic and its ACTUAL sister ship sunk n killed people.” They learned nothingggggg.